Sarah asks :

Hi Lucy, 

A sibling of mine is bringing their new partner to meet our extended family when they all come round for my birthday celebrations. Am I justified in saying I don't want this new partner here on that day as I feel like they will get all the attention instead of me?


Hi Sarah,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It is understandable that for one day of the year you want to be the centre of attention- a birthday is generally focused on the person one whose party it is.

If you just want it to be close family- then perhaps you could suggest asking your sibling to ask their partner to meet up with your family at a later occasion?

Or could you arrange a meet up before your birthday for a meal or a gathering so your party won't be the first time they meet this person?

My first question would be- how long have they been together? If it's serious then they may one day become a permanent part of your family, in which case it will mean a lot to your sibling if you welcome them with open arms.

You may find that you get on well with them if they do come. I suppose it depends on the personality of your sibling's partner. If they are quiet and shy then people might be respectful of that and leave them to ease into your family unit without asking too many questions and making a huge fuss.

I would also ask how far they are potentially travelling to come to your party. If they live far away and will be travelling long distance to come then it might be polite to welcome them rather than put them off.

The reality is- special occasions do tend to be an opportunity for people to attend with their significant other- so they may not be doing it to steal your thunder. They just may not have many instances where they can go to a party together and so are looking forward to the outing as a couple.

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