Tina asks :
Hi Lucy,
Do I go and spend a season working at a ski resort with my boyfriend next year or not? I met my boyfriend two and a half years ago at the start of university and now we are about to graduate and need to decide what to do next. I still have no idea what I want to do at all, but my boyfriend wants to do another ski season, as he had done one before university started, and wants me to come with him. I have never been skiing before, nor have I been more than an hour away from my family home for more than three weeks, but I think it could be really cool, I love my boyfriend, and I still don't really know what I want to do career-wise. Is it wrong to go purely because my boyfriend wants to (i.e. this is not something I would do/think of doing on my own), or should I just do it because it could be fun and there's nothing I can think of that I would rather be doing at the end of university yet?
Hi Tina,
Agony Aunts on Female First
If you are unsure what to do with your future, then perhaps this would give you the time to figure out what it really is you want to do.
If you have never been far away from your family, doing long distance might be hard at first, however it would give you the chance to do something different- something you will never forget. There are so many ways to stay in touch if you found yourself feeling homesick.
If you don't know how to ski, you could learn- you never know you might learn to love it.
I would suggest that if you do go; that you are not doing it entirely for your boyfriend's sake. Make sure that there is something in it for you too or you could end up feeling resentful of him and missing home.
If you have been together a while then perhaps you can trust that he wants you to go with him for all the right reasons and will look out for you while you're still finding your feet. Whatever you decide, it's important to remember that it's not for the long term, if it's not for you- there is an end to it. Will this opportunity ever come around again? If not then it might be worth trying it while you have the chance.
If you are unsure, then you could always get a job just to earn some money and buy yourself some time that way while you decide what it is you really want to do for a career.
tagged in boyfriend
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.