Samantha asks :

Hi Lucy, 

I've fell for a guy who doesn't want to commit to anyone as he's following his dreams and has a plan for life already. He's given me the option of seeing him but not being able to be in a committed relationship. Do I stay by him or do I walk away?

Hi Samantha,

He is following his dreams

He is following his dreams

It all depends if you want the same- I am gathering you are writing in because you don't. If you are happy to be in a relationship that has no commitment then it could work, however if this is not a value you hold dear, then you are making life difficult for yourself from the outset.

It sounds like he is nurturing his own needs and desires right now, which is fine when you are single, however if you secretly hope for a relationship then you might come to resent his attitude in time.

If he is following his dreams then perhaps you need to identify yours and do the same or you could end up getting hurt if you stay.

The answer lies in being true to yourself and what you want from a relationship, not fitting in with what someone else dictates. Relationships do involve compromise, however if the very foundation of your connection is damaged, then you whatever you build in top of that is going to crumble.

Will you consider being friends? Perhaps if your paths go in opposite directions you are better of keeping things at a friendship level.


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