Nancy asks :

Hi Lucy,

My long term partner who I have a one year old child with thinks he should get half of my annual bonus should I get one. All of our finances are split equally and fairly. I believe the bonus should be at my discretion to do with what I like. He feels that by principle it should be split equally. I am not necessarily going to get a bonus. We don't have money worries and he has a lot and I mean a lot of savings behind him from his life before me. Please advise?

Hi Nancy,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

For a lot of couples splitting everything down the middle makes their joint financial life as balanced and fair as possible.

If you were given an unexpected windfall that was meant for the both of you, then splitting it down the middle, might be more appropriate in this situation.

If all of your bills are covered, you generally have no worries over money and everything you pay for jointly is catered for then you could argue that it is yours do with what you want. Your work has been recognised and has been rewarded accordingly.

If he were struggling financially, you were as a couple or you couldn't provide for your child, it might be a consideration to use the money to ease things, however you have already said this is not the case.

Bonus or no bonus, perhaps you need to talk to him about money and how you want to handle any individual bonuses you receive from now on and what you want to do moving forward. Perhaps you can agree that unless you are worried about money as a couple that you can use bonus money to treat yourselves.

If he has a lot of savings then perhaps you can suggest that you want to put the money away for a rainy day so that all your money is not tied up with him? Or you could agree that if he gets a bonus it is also halved if yours is this time around.

It may be worth trying to sort this before your bonus comes through; if it does and then it is not dependent on the result- you will have already discussed it and put it to bed. 

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