My partner has a box with cards to and from an old girlfriend and a few photos of them together. It upsets me, is this normal?
Relationship expert Jessican Leoni said: “I think this is only an issue if he is getting this box out at regular intervals and showing obvious signs that he is still pining for his ex. The mere fact that he has the box is nothing to get upset about. It’s what he does with it that is the issue. If it is largely ignored and left in the attic untended, then what is there to worry about?
“Barring people who have fallen in love with their childhood sweetheart and stuck with them, there is barely a person in the country who does not have photos and, yes, cards and even letters sent to them by their ex. We don’t keep them because we want that person back. We keep them because they are part of our own personal history - like a childhood diary - and every now and then (say every few years) it is fun to revisit those times by re-reading those cards or letters and have a quick flick through the pictures. Most people just accept that this is part of life and don’t get upset by this behaviour if that is what their partner wants to do.
“If your boyfriend is poring over this box, then you are right to be upset but I suspect he isn’t, and it is just there in the house. If you get upset about this, I suspect you get upset about a lot of things. Perhaps I am being a little harsh with such scant knowledge of your circumstances, but I imagine that you need to loosen up a little.
“You're jealous of his ex even though she is out of his life and he is with you. Your feelings are normal. I can imagine that a lot of people would be ‘upset’ by their partner’s little memory box. Just because a behaviour trait is common doesn’t mean it is right. Chill out and let that box gather dust in the attic without you worrying about it.”
Jessica is a relationship expert for the dating site, IllicitEncounters.com
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