Sarah asks :
Hi Lucy,
How can I spice up my sex life? I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 and a half years and the sex is getting a bit stale. I've tried everything I can think of to change things up. It's even gotten to the point where I'm stood in front of him in just my underwear and he is more interested in his phone. It's leaving me feeling very self-conscious and I don't know what I can do! Is this starting to be the end of our physical relationship?
Hi Sarah,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It sounds like you have tried everything physically but perhaps haven't talked to your partner about this. If your efforts are going unnoticed then it might be time to tell him how it makes you feel.
Perhaps you could have a 'no phone at bed time' rule so you can concentrate on each other without having the distraction of your phones.
Sex can go stale if left to go so; however it takes both of you to be on board in order to get things back on track.
Why not ask him what his fantasies are? Or what he would like to you dress up as? Tell him what you would like him to do for you and what you think about doing together. If you can get a dialogue going then this might help to kick start your intimate life again.
It could be something personal- is he stressed? Tired? On medication? There are a number of things that can affect a man's libido, so perhaps ask him about his life away from you- he might be suffering in silence and may need you to initiate the conversation.
Maybe he thinks he is satisfying you and because you haven't mentioned to him how you feel about your sex life, he hasn't made and effort to improve it along with you. If you tell him what he's doing right but talk about what you would like to do differently then he might just take the hint.
tagged in boyfriend
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