Penny asks :

Hi Lucy,

I'm 15 and I have a boy best friend. I've known him for over 2 years now and we are pretty close. Last year he found out that I had a crush on him, so he ignored me because he felt uncomfortable. I went on holiday later earlier this year and while I was on holiday he told me he had feelings for me and then asked me out. I said yes, but after I came back from holiday a short time later he broke up with me because of what others were saying about us. It took me ages to get over him; I did everything I could just to get him out of my mind. Then I met a boy from a different school. I fell in love with him. He was in love with me the way I was so he asked me out and I said yes. I told my best friend that I have a boyfriend now and he came crawling back. Lately, he's been telling me he loves me and how he wants me back. He does things for me no one else does. He's protective of me, he looks after me in school but I have a boyfriend. He is deeply in love with me and I don't know what to do, my boyfriend loves me but I have a very distant relationship with him and we don't get to see each other often. What should I do? What would you do?

Our Reply

Hi Penny,

It is likely that your ex came back because he was jealous to see you with someone else. Break ups are usually manageable until one of you gets another partner and this can bring back feelings of jealousy. It is more acceptable to think that you might be spending less time with a person than the gut reaction you will feel when you see ‘your’ partner with someone else.

Take your friend out of the equation- are you happy in your current relationship? If you feel like you don’t see him enough then perhaps work on this and make some more date nights with him. If the only reason you are with him is because he loves you, but you don’t really feel the same way back anymore then it sounds like it time to let things go.

Only after you have decided what you are to do with your current relationship then perhaps think about your friend. It could be that as soon as you are single he loses interest because he has no one to be jealous of anymore. Make sure his intentions are true and not just a ploy to get you to be single like he is.

Lucy x 

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