Yvonne asks :

Hi Lucy,

In December 2014 I found myself homeless and moved in with my partner. Then in January 2015 I was made redundant. I took the first job that was offered knowing it was wrong but buried myself in the job so wouldn't have time to think. I stuck it out for 10 months and then resigned by post. I took on agency work for a while but don't like that either and made an excuse so I could have a break from working. A couple of weeks ago another bombshell hit as we are in rented accommodation and have been told that we have 3 months to leave as the flat is being sold. On top of that my partner’s job is being relocated at the same time. My sister is asking me when I'm going to return to work but feel so confused and lost I just don't know what to do for the best. I can't face returning to the current agency job knowing I'm not going to be there long term. I know I am feeling anxious and have woken up the past week with severe tension in my hands and jaw. However I feel guilty because I have always worked.

 

Hi Yvonne,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It does sound like a lot has happened all in quick succession. What I would advise is to sit down, take a breath- think and ask yourself a few questions before making your next move.

Do you want to stay living with your partner? If so then it might be wise to look for a job that's in the same place they are being relocated to. Perhaps the job market is better where they are headed to?

You have three months so there is time to look around for another agency or post that might be more fitting for you in a new area.

Once you have something in place then you can look for somewhere to live together if your plan is to stay living together.

If you feel you need some space then perhaps your sister, friend or other family member would let you stay while you look for another job and a place to live. If your sister is concerned for your job situation then perhaps she is keen for you to get back on your feet and might help you in any way she can.

It seems to me that because everything has happened together you are feeling overwhelmed and perhaps don't know where to start. It might help to write it down and arrange it into priority order before you talk to your partner so you can get some clarity first. If you are both feeling panicked then talking while in this state might make things worse.

Your first decision might need to be over whether you want to go through this change together- or if you would rather take a step back and live apart for a while first if the place they are being located to is just not practical for you.


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