Does the fault lie with me or him?

6 December 2020

Anonymous asks:

I met a man through online dating and after seeing him for a little while l stayed overnight at his and a week later he stayed over at mine.

I liked him and he seemed to like me although he kept going on about his ex until l told him l did not like him talking about his ex and so he stopped going on about her.

The day after he stayed at mine he contacted me to say he did not want to carry on with the relationship due to the two hour travel between us. When l pressed him further he said he felt no emotion which makes me think its my fault because he thought l was not good enough in bed and did not compare with his ex.

This makes me feel used and that l am inferior, l am very down about this.

Firstly, don’t beat yourself up over this and please don’t over think the situation.

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Naturally you’re upset and feel used, especially now he has ended the relationship saying he felt no emotion for you. Don’t put yourself down, we are all allowed to make relationship mistakes from time to time. You liked him and you thought he liked you.

I don’t know how many dates you went on with this man or how well you got to know him but from what you say it sounds to me that you didn’t get to know each other very well. And trust me, if someone keeps talking about their ex, they are without doubt NOT over their ex. Be thankful that he broke off the relationship sooner rather than weeks/ months down the line when you may well have fallen in love with him.

In my many years’ experience as a matchmaker and relationship expert I know if you sleep with someone too soon it completely changes the dynamics of the relationship. Before you sleep with a man you have the upper hand, whether you know it or not. Men are naturally competitive and they love a challenge. But if you start a physical relationship too soon, the challenge has gone and they can and often do loose interest.

You need to get to know the person you are dating before sleeping with them, especially if it is a complete stranger you know nothing about. From everything you say you are obviously sensitive person so please don’t let this get to you, there are many lovely men out there. This chap was just not the one for you.

Good luck and stay positive.

Relationship expert Karen Mooney is the founder and MD of Sara Eden, the UK’s foremost dating and matchmaking agency, making bespoke introductions since 1988. For more information go to - www.sara-eden.co.uk

RELATED: Is my boyfriend addicted or is he avoiding me?

Hi, I need your help. Me and my partner of three years are on the verge of breaking up over his XBOX. He plays online games with friends all the time. They have made a WhatsApp group and from the time he gets up till bedtime he is on his phone chatting to these men. We have no conversation, no time together, we don’t even watch TV together because he’s constantly looking at his phone. When I try to make conversation he doesn’t even answer because he is too stuck in his phone... to read more click HERE