Andy asks :

Hi Lucy, 

I love my wife but our sex life is stale! I want to spice it up with threesomes etc., she won't even wear stockings let alone entertain the idea of a threesome. Should I just forget it and watch porn?

 

Hi Andy,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Although watching porn might satisfy your itch for an orgasm it won't improve things with your wife. Have you spoken to her about your sex life? Perhaps this would be the best place to start.

Try to focus on what you like about your sex life so you don't leave her too deflated and discuss other things she would be comfortable with to make it more exciting.

She may not be up for bringing a third person into your bedroom, but she may be ok with doing other things to spice up your love life. It might just take a conversation first.

It could be that she is feeling a little insecure about herself and that is why your sex lie has dwindled. If you think she may be lacking confidence then try to give her a boost with positive body language, regular touch (both sexual and non sexual) and positive words. If she's assured that you still find her attractive, she'll be more inclined to sleep with you because she will feel sexy and lusted after.

If you think you'll struggle on your own then perhaps some time with a sex counsellor would help you talk to each other more effectively about your lovemaking.


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