Anonymous asks:

My parents hate my partner without even meeting him or getting to know him. 

They come out with horrible comments and have told me that they will never accept him. 

I have to lie about where I’m going when I go to meet him and I am sick of it. 

I haven’t had the heart to tell my boyfriend yet as I don’t want it to spoil our relationship as we get on so well. 

How can I deal with this situation and my parents' input?

 

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationship expert, said: “It would be good to have a few more details and more of an explanation about why your parents have such a low opinion of your partner. Have they always been this protective around you or is there something in particular about this new boyfriend that they don’t like? Only you can answer these questions. If your boyfriend has been involved in crime or has issues with drink or drugs, I could understand their concerns but there is nothing to indicate this in your letter. It sounds more likely that your parents are a little controlling and perhaps  hate the idea of someone else taking away their precious daughter. If that is the case, then they really need to change their attitude because you cannot be expected to live like this.

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

“I think you really need to take a tough line with them because it sounds like they are behaving appallingly. What is particularly worrying is that they come up with ‘horrible comments’ and say they will never accept a man they haven’t even met. What is driving this prejudice? I suspect that your parents have led quite sheltered lives and are fearful of change.

“You are right not to tell your boyfriend at this stage. As far as I can see, he has done nothing wrong. You have a great relationship and knowledge of your parents’ hostility could drive him away.

“I think you need to give your parents an ultimatum: tell them that you are bringing your boyfriend around so that they can see how happy he makes you. If they refuse to meet him, tell them in no uncertain terms that they risk losing you as a result. If they agree to your meeting, hopefully they will realise the error of their ways and they will accept the relationship once they have properly got to know your boyfriend. But I am not holding my breath. I suspect that there will not be a happy ending to this story until there is a major shift in your parents’ worldview.”

Jessica is a sex and relationship expert for the dating site, IllicitEncounters.com 

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