Broken asks :

Hi Lucy,

My husband is flirting with this woman- texting her and telling her how much he wants to have sex with her. I’ve lost trust in him and can't bear the thought of him touching me again. What do I do?

 

Hi Broken,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

The first thing I would do is enrol in some couple's counselling to explore why he felt the need to text someone else other than you in a sexual context.

Has your relationship been under a lot of strain lately? Have you been spending less and less time together? I ask this in no way to excuse what he's done but it's important to find the root cause of his motivations behind the message exchange.

It sounds like you have caught this before anything has happened physically between him and this woman- so perhaps he liked the idea of it but wouldn't act on his fantasies.

A counsellor would help you to explore all of this with your partner as well as tell him about your unwillingness to let him be close to you because of what's happened. Plus, how it made you feel to discover these messages.

If he isn't aware that you know about his text messages then it might be time to come clean and tell him what you've found. The sooner the better might help you to pull this back before any more progression is potentially made.


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