My boyfriend is dishonest- should I stay with him?

17 March 2020

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend has been dishonest with me many times in our relationship.

I keep digging up truths on his phone- some from almost a year ago, some more recent and he’s been unfaithful to me.

For example he asked a girl to meet up for a night out when I was away, is this cheating?

He has also sent provocative messages to female friends which I have now not let him speak to as there’s just no boundaries.

He always makes excuses for his actions but is trying to be better.

Apart from all the lies and unfaithfulness, he is really kind and sweet.

Is my boyfriend worth staying for?

Hi there,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Forgive my candour, but this man isn’t really your boyfriend. He may call himself your boyfriend, he may state you’re in a relationship, but he is simply filing his boots with your adoration and seeing other women on the side.

Worse still, he can’t even be honest about it. If he’s meeting up with other females in secrecy, then he’s betraying you. It doesn’t matter whether he’s sleeping with them or not, his behaviour is unacceptable.

Research by eharmony indicates that half of Brits (48%) agree that if you’re in a relationship, and your partner messages someone else, it counts as cheating.

Many behaviours now fall under the banner of ‘micro-cheating’, a term which encompasses smaller, albeit questionable acts. Around a third of people also think it’s inappropriate for a partner to stay in contact with someone they’ve previously dated.

Two thirds (62%) of Brits would consider a partner disloyal if they texted someone else suggestively or kissed someone else when drunk (60%). Unsurprisingly, nine in ten (89%) agree that sleeping with someone else is a definite display of infidelity.

So, your boyfriend’s behaviour – including his provocative texts to other women – would clearly earn big penalty faults from the majority of people.

I’ve no doubt that if you end this relationship he will try and talk you out of it and tell you you’re overreacting. Trust your gut and reject the gaslighting behaviour.