Anonymous asks:

Although I live with my boyfriend he does not have any time or effort for me. 

He is constantly either on his phone talking to friends or he is talking to friends on a games console.

Other than spending time with friends he will do things on his own such as playing his guitar or watching videos but none of the things he ever does include me. 

When I have confronted him and told him that I am upset that he doesn't want to spend any time with me, he just laughs at me and tells me I am being crazy. 

He believes that because he lives with me that should be enough for me. 

As we are in quarantine currently it is hard for me to get away from the situation. 

I don't know what to do as he never understands things from my point of view. 

He will ask me what is wrong however once I have told him how I feel, he does not listen and struggles to see my point of view. 

This then ends up in an argument. 

What can I do or say to him that will make him realise there needs to be an equal balance?

 

Sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni said: “This is a tricky one. I can see that you love your boyfriend very much and are desperate for him to be a little more considerate and give us much to the relationship as you currently are. I do feel that the situation is salvageable and your boyfriend will come around in time and become more responsive. I think he loves you, too, but is less emotionally mature and should be responding better to your pleas for more commitment. I am hopeful that he will change because he doesn’t strike me as a completely closed book. He DOES ask you what is wrong - you would be amazed how many men fail on this crucial point. So he can sense your restlessness and unhappiness, it is just at present he is too tone deaf to adjust his approach and give more of himself to you. Keep working on him - I think over time he will listen and change. Remember you are locked up together, potentially 24/7 if you are both working from home or unable to work - clearly that is a stressful situation. Even if you are both working, you are stuck at home together in the evenings and weekends and can only see friends remotely if you are both responsibly following the Government’s social distancing rules. Clearly that is going to create tensions in a relationship and I think it is making you a little over-sensitive.

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

“Your boyfriend says that you are ‘crazy’ to doubt his love for you and I am encouraged by his response. I think that it shows that he loves you very much.

“Keep working on him. When he has been particularly selfish, on his phone for hours or playing his games, pull him up and point out how you need more from him. He is bound to feel guilty at this point and know deep down that you are right. I am sure over time he will realise he needs to give more and he will be more attentive to your needs.”

Jessica is a sex and relationship expert for the dating site, IllicitEncounters.com


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