Rose asks :

Hello Lucy,

Odd question...my boyfriend of 6 months is really passionate in making sure I'm always satisfied in our lovemaking. But actual penetration doesn't happen every time. He says satisfying me is his priority and he enjoys it just as much as me. Even though he's the only man in 30 years that gives me orgasms all the time. He blows my socks off but I just feel that he's missing out sometimes but he assures me he enjoys it as much as me. Thank you.

 

Hi Rose,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It sounds like you might want more fulfilment in your sex life. If this is the case it might be worth talking to him about it so you can come up with some kind of balance to your lovemaking. If you want oral sex and penetration then tell him if you feel happier and more satisfied when he is engaged too. Sex should about mutual enjoyment- give and take and shouldn't be about one person every time.

It sounds like he has perfected giving you orgasms through oral sex so if he could combine this with penetration then you could have a well-rounded sex life.

If you talk to him- you might find the cause of his eagerness to please you. Perhaps he has been in a relationship in the past where he was criticised for not giving enough between the sheets. Perhaps his last partner couldn't come during penetration so he is making sure that your needs are met. Maybe he is afraid that if he is a little bit selfish in the bedroom that you might think less of him or leave. He might have a lack of confidence when it comes to taking things further and so avoids it- using your pleasure as an excuse to avoid penetration.

If you are able to create a dialogue around your sex life more, then perhaps you could iron out any insecurities that may be tired up in his passion to please. You might also feel more at ease if you know he is sharing some of the pleasure too.


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