I'm not happy in my relationship anymore but we're in lockdown- what should I do?

9 April 2020

Anonymous asks:

I’ve been having doubts about my 5 year relationship.

I’m simply just not happy anymore.

I’ve tried talking about it to my partner but they are emotionally unavailable and now we are stuck in isolation/lockdown together.

I’m miserable, what do I do?!

Sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni said: “It sounds to me like your issues with your partner long pre-date the lockdown and the inevitable tensions this will cause for any couple. You have been with your partner for five years - that is plenty of time to establish if you are a good long-term fit. You say that your partner is ‘emotionally unavailable’ and I suspect that this has always been the case. But it is only now - sparked by the intensity of lockdown - that their emotional reticence is really becoming evident to you and making you realise that you two are incompatible.

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“Relationships do run out of steam, particularly when the sexual sparks of the first few years begin to dim. I honestly think that is what has happened here. You are fundamentally mismatched and the relationship has run its course. You can plead with your partner to change and communicate better. There may be a temporary shift but a leopard cannot change its spots and I expect them to return to type very soon afterwards.

“Clearly splitting up in the middle of the lockdown is a really bad move and I would recommend that you put off making any big changes until we have a clearer idea of what is happening with the coronavirus crisis. But I do feel that you will have to split up when the crisis eases because I do not see your relationship misery ending when we finally get on top of this awful virus.”