Bella asks :
Hi Lucy,
Why is it that my husband always seems to enjoy showing me up in front of people? I am always at the receiving end of his jokes or if he's mad then he will shout at me so people can hear. It's got to the stage where I won't go out as a couple as I come home feeling so dejected. What he says to me personally I couldn't care less but I DO NOT like this in company.
Hi Bella,
Agony Aunts on Female First
When someone tries to shift the focus onto their partner in a negative way- it's often because of they are feeling negative about themselves. It's a diversion tactic and he might be using this to make himself feel better about something. Is he having some personal issues? A hard time at work? Money troubles? If something is preying on his mind then perhaps this is a default position for him to stop him thinking about his own problems. Maybe you could talk to him and find out if there's something going on and suggest he deal with it in a different way, like by talking to you.
Also, does he do this in front on everyone or just certain people? It might be worth thinking about when it happens and who with the most- as it could say more about his relationship with them than his relationship with you. For instance- if it's more so in front of his friends- perhaps this is how they speak to their partners and he does it to fit in.
I would suggest talking to him about it. If it's having a knock on effect on your social life and how much time you want to spend with him- it might be time to tell him how his jokes makes you feel. He may assume you're not taking them to heart- so it might help to clarify that they're making you feel sad. In terms of the shouting- perhaps you could ask him to address any issues he has with you at home rather than in public as you want to keep your private life behind closed doors.
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