Skye asks :

Hi Lucy, 

How can I tell my friend that she is a bad influence and I don't want to hang around with her anymore? X

 

Hi Skye,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It is good that you have identified the influence she could potentially have over you or has had already. Some people don't even realise this until it's too late. They find they no longer recognise their own behaviour because they have been so heavily influenced by someone they really don't want to be.

I would suggest that you are honest with her and tell her that you are too different now and that your friendship has run its course. What may have once worked no longer does and you no longer think along the same lines. There is nothing wrong with this- some friendships are meant to be for life, others come and go so we can learn from them. It sounds like this one is the latter for you. It seems that you have learned what you don't want from a friendship.

You don't have to go into detail, maybe tell her that it's time to go your separate ways. It is entirely up to her how she takes this- if she takes it badly then that is her decision. You are not responsible for her reaction to the news.

Perhaps you moving away from her might make her rethink her decisions, if they are detrimental to her future. Leaving your friendship behind may be a good thing for her.

Most importantly it sounds like it will be a good thing for you if you feel you are being sucked into something you don't want to be.

Sometimes we have to be selfish and make decisions to the betterment of our own lives. She may find someone else who thinks like her, or she may change as a result- either way she will likely find what fits for her and you will do the same.

Once you have broken the news to her, you can go out and find a friend who is on the same page as you and whom you feel entirely yourself with.


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