Kevin asks :

Hi Lucy,

My name is Kevin and I’m 21 and still a virgin. I don’t know if it’s because I find it hard to meet any women because in my life I never really get the chance to meet women- I don’t drink so I’m never at bars. I've never found it hard to speak to girls- in fact I tend to make friends with girls easier than guys but it’s hard to meet any women when I never really have the opportunity to be around any.

Hi Kevin,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you don't normally stumble across many women, then you may have to find situations where you can, not all women hang around in bars- you just have to know where to look.

Perhaps enrol in some online dating, attend a speed dating event or join a group that supports your hobby or interest. The latter will help you to make conversation about a joint passion, so will hopefully prevent any awkward silences that so many people fear when meeting someone new. Plus you generally have to meet up regularly, which can help a friendship or more blossom as you become more familiar with each other.

Online dating might help you to meet other like-minded women, as the sites match you on your personality traits and preferences. You can message the women before meeting up with them to see if you have a connection.

Speed dating might give you a heightened confidence in talking to women in a short space of time. It could help you learn to impress them with only snippets of information about yourself and absorb details about them more quickly.

If you have a job- are there any women you come into contact with there? Many relationships start at work, so perhaps don't write it off if you have taken it out of the equation.

Try to see each experience as practice, even if you don't meet the one- it all adds up to increased confidence and opportunities to hang out with the opposite sex.


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