Chloe asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm recently single after being in my first serious relationship and first person I had sex with. I felt really comfortable and sexy when I was with him and we explored things like roleplay and toys but always felt safe and respected. Now, I'm really anxious about being with anyone else! How do I get that sexual confidence back when with a new person?
Hi Chloe,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Chances are you didn't feel 100% comfortable with your previous partner right from the beginning. The likelihood was that you built up your confidence with them over time and you are comparing your most recent sex to new sex, which will always be very different.
The next partner you have sex with will probably be the same at the start. Couples have to build up a trust for one another before trying new things like role play and sex toys. You should be able to enjoy those things again, but it might take time while you get to know each other's bodies and preferences. It is very important to establish the basics before bringing anything more into the bedroom.
It might be a case of having sex at the start that doesn't involve role play or sex toys. As you get to know them better, then the conversation of introducing new things might happen more naturally.
Everyone feels out of their depth in a new sexual relationship because everyone is different in what they want from their sex life. If you are both committed to one another, you will make the effort to keep things exciting and fresh as well as make each other feel sexy and comfortable. If not then you will realise quickly that you are sleeping with the wrong person.
tagged in relationships single
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