Catalina asks :

My boyfriend of seven months recently broke up with me because he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now, and I feel terrible. I feel awful because I miss him so much and want him back, but then I also feel guilty because I feel like I was a terrible girlfriend. He used to irritate me so much and I was miserable when I was with him all the time. Looking back on it now all I can think about what I could have done to be a better girlfriend. I want him back so badly, but he won't take me back. How do I get past this guilt?

Hi Catalina, 

I feel terrible

I feel terrible

Firstly I would ask you the reasons why you want him back when you admit you were miserable with him, and all he did was irritate you?

I suspect you are feeling quite rejected at the moment, and perhaps now he is a challenge, you find him more interesting. The feeling of rejection and hurt pride often has us chasing after the wrong relationship for acceptance. Yearning for him is only holding you back from being with someone you're more suited with.

I would take this one as a lesson learned and apply it to finding someone who you find less irritating, who you will want to treat better. You could also send your ex a nice message to say you realise now you weren't compatible, and you both need to move on, but you think he is a great guy for somebody else, and wish him happiness for the future. 

By Siobhan Copland

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