Paula asks :

Hi Lucy, 

Two of my closest friends who I trusted have told others my secrets even though I trusted them with my life. They still don't know I know what they've done and I have tried to confront one of my friends. Each time I try I get a horrible sick feeling like I'm going to throw up- What shall I do? Thanks

 

Hi Paula,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It can be scary to confront someone who has wronged you especially when their betrayal has been told to you by someone else.

If you feel that you can't do it face to face, then perhaps you could write them both a letter? That way you can get all the information down you have been told and think about what you want to say to them. If you do it face to face you might let your anger or upset get in the way.

Perhaps what's holding you back is the fear of being let down if they admit what they've been accused of.

Right now- it is just a rumour, however- if someone else knows you're about private life- it could mean it has come from them if you have told no-one else.

Still it might help you to hear it from them rather than someone else. Even if they do admit to being liberal with your secrets, at least you can hear it first-hand rather than through gossip.

If they haven't kept your secret, then you may want to re-think your friendship and find someone who keeps your secrets as if they were their own.

If they are very sorry for what they have potentially done then it might be wise to keep your innermost secrets to yourself in future and just tell them what you want them to know.


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