How can I ask my boyfriend to stop watching x rated material?

by Lucy Moore | 3 January 2015

Hi Anonymous,

Agony Aunts on Female First

It’s important to remember that men are very visual creatures and much prefer to have something to watch while masturbating. Women on the other hand can suffice with just their imagination. It is not a personal attack on you or him telling you that he finds you less attractive- it’s merely his way of getting himself off when he wants some alone time.

If you are worried because you have not been together for a long time- men masturbate throughout their relationships- from beginning to end so it might not be any reflection on how long you have been a couple.

If you feel that uncomfortable about it then you could ask him to stop- perhaps you could suggest that you watch it together, however he will still want some time to himself just as you might. Couples don’t always want pleasure together and any good relationship is satisfied both together and apart. If you each know where to hit the spot yourself then it’s much easier to ask it of one another, making you more compatible in bed. It might not be as bad as you think.

If after all of this, you still feel uneasy about him watching it you can talk to him and ask him to never use this as a means of getting himself off. However he might find something in its place like pictures of naked or semi naked women in a men’s magazine for example. If it becomes taboo in your relationship then he might want it more- a typical reaction when someone asks you not to do something.

Perhaps the most effective thing would be to talk to him about it and tell him how you feel- the more honest you can be about anything that might affect your sex life the better and his response might put your mind at ease. 

---

by Lucy Moore for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
find me on and follow me on