Becca asks :

I like my best friend, but more than a friend, and I know he likes me back however he's told me he's not thinking about the whole dating side of things because he doesn't want to ruin our friendship, I can't stop thinking about how mich I like him the same way but I'm too afraid to tell him. I also think my BEST friend may like him aswell but she doesn't admit although whenever I talk about me and Him in school she becomes distant. I really don't want to lose my Best friend but I'm tired of keeping this secret! Help!

Our Reply

By telling him and possibly entering into a relationship with your friend you run the risk of affecting two friendships, so it really depends on what you think your chances are he will say yes to going out with you. If you think them high then it could work, but your friend will probably become more distant as a result, at least in the short term, if she really does like him.

If it doesn’t work out then you will be left distant from the two people closest to you. If your friendship is strong with this girl then she will have to learn to get over it, if you did decide to become a couple, but how long this will take is up to her. Perhaps talk to her about it and tell her that if it were to happen you don’t want her to be out of your life. Your friend is wise when he says that you shouldn’t jeopardise your friendship as this would be hard to recover from if you dated and it didn’t work out.

Does he know that you like him back at all? If he has already talked about the impact this will have on your friendship then he must know to some extent that you like him back. Perhaps if you told him just how much, then it might change his mind.It all boils down to what you are prepared to lose in the event of this not working. 


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