Anonymous asks :
Hi Lucy,
I struggle to have sex with my partner of 8 years. It's not because I’ve lost my sex drive, because I can’t get aroused or fantasise sleeping with other men. I just don't find my partner attractive anymore. I love him but afraid it’s just as a friend more than my lover. I worry I stay for the kids and to keep him happy. I don’t know what to do.
Hi Anonymous,
Agony Aunts on Female First
I would suggest booking an appointment with a sex counsellor before making any decisions on your relationship.
It might be that a professional could help you figure out what it is that you are not attracted to in your partner anymore. It may be something you can work on to gain the attraction back you once had.
Sexual attraction can come and go and it may be that you can work with your partner to see each other as lovers again and not just partners and parents. Identities can become confused once children come on the scene and couples have to work hard to separate the two.
It is positive that you still see him as a friend because if you do decide to go your separate ways- this might prevent any animosity.
I would urge you to explore the options with a professional first to find out if there is any way of salvaging this. You have spent a large chunk of your life with this man so perhaps some commitment to and exploration of your love life with an expert might prevent you from having to choose whether to stay or to go.
tagged in Partner
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