My wife has been going through a midlife crisis for almost three years.
She has become distant over this time and fallen out of love with me.
I have been a good husband and father but she has now asked for a divorce.
I really want to save our marriage but not sure how I can while she is going through this crisis.
Do I stand by her through this crisis or do I accept divroce?
I love her and care about her but I’m not sure where to turn. My gut says stand by her and see it through but there is a small part of me saying ‘let go’.
What should I do?
Sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni said: “I really feel for you. You are a good man and I am full of admiration for the way you want to do everything you can to make this marriage work. However, I do fear that it is time to move on and that your wife is determined to end the marriage, regardless of your wishes. You say that your wife has been going through a mid-life crisis as though these problems are somehow separate from her estrangement from you. Sorry to be harsh but I suspect that the root cause of this mid-life crisis is the marriage itself and her desire to get out of it. All the signs are there - her distance, the long period (three years) in which she has been estranged and that killer phrase that she has ‘fallen out of love.’ Once you fall out of love with someone you have been with for years, it is very difficult to find that spark again.
“I would say walk away immediately if it wasn’t for one other fact in your letter. You mention that you have been a good husband and ‘father.’ So there is a child or children involved? I would be interested to know their age/s. If they are still young, there is a strong argument for you sticking around and trying to make a go of things. You and your wife may be in crisis but kids benefit, on the whole, from having a mum and dad living together and caring for them together.
“If the children are older, I think it is probably time to move on. I admire your loyalty but I really don’t see your wife rekindling her love for you after three years. Frankly, you sound like a wonderful man who is always putting other people’s needs first and you deserve something better.”
Jessica is a sex and relationship expert for the dating site, IllicitEncounters.com
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