How do I deal with being in the middle of my two best friends who have fallen out? I'm 46 and thought I'd be over this stuff by now! I feel like I'm about to lose both of them because I don’t want to choose sides.
Jessica Leoni, sex and relationship expert, said: “This is a tricky one because you have given me so few details and I don’t know what has caused your friends to fall out. You are right that at the age of 46 you really do have better things to do, and it is worth pointing that out to your friends who really should know better by now.
“I suspect that this issue could end up with you choosing sides, particularly if your friends see no way of patching things up. I would try to get the three of you together and see if you can mediate between them so you can all move forward and be friends as you were before.
“If you have already tried that, or you organise the peace summit and it still doesn’t resolve the issue between your friends, then you need to make some tough decisions. I would be straight with both friends and say that you will continue to see them both separately and you will leave it to them to sort out their issues as you want no further part in their rows. Hopefully they will both be happy with this compromise and you can adjust how you see them.
“If that doesn’t work and they put you in a position where you have to choose then I would weigh up the situation in your head and judge who you think is in the wrong in their disagreement (if it is really as clear-cut as that). Tell them why they are wrong and put pressure on them to resolve the issue. If they refuse, then you would need to seriously consider whether they are worth having as a friend.
“If it is a simple case of your friends just growing apart and having little in common, then you will have to choose. Pick the friend whose company you enjoy the most and makes your life better. But I would be very surprised if it came to that.”
Jessica is a sex and relationship expert for the dating site, IllicitEncounters.com
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