Anonymous asks:

I’m a girl, and I like girls. 

I’m in uni and I recently got out of a bad relationship. 

Since my breakup I’ve hooked up with a few girls, and one such hook up was a girl I made out with at a club. 

She’s a friend of some of my acquaintances, and lives in the same uni halls as two of my close friends. 

Now the problem is I’m developing a proper crush on this girl, she’s perfectly my type, but she just got out of a relationship herself and has internalized guilt about her bisexuality. 

She told me that she would be okay being friends with me, and wouldn’t pursue anything more; but I can feel my feelings growing especially every time I see her or run into her on a night out or something. 

I can’t shake the feeling that maybe there’s a chance for us sometime in a few months once she’s coped with her own breakup. But I don’t want to actively pursue anything and put her off when she’s already explicitly told me ‘no’ for now. Any advice?


Sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni said: “Be patient - if this was meant to be, I am sure this girl will come back to you when she is ready for a new relationship. You are just going to have respect her wishes and see if she comes around. You have lots of friends in common so it is not like you won’t end up bumping into her regularly. In short, there is bound to be situation where the two of you are together - possibly that club where you made out the first time - and you can take it further if she wants. I am sure she is fully aware of how keen you are, so she knows that she is likely to get a positive response if she wants to reconnect.

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

“That just leaves the issue of whether you should remain celibate while you wait for her to make up her mind. I would say no. She is is the one who is cool on the idea of a relationship.It is perfectly reasonable for you to look elsewhere given her reticence.

And hooking up with someone else might be just the spur she needs to realise what she is missing.

“You are at uni - this might well be the most exciting time of your life and a great environment in which to explore your sexuality and meet lots of interesting people and have, if it suits you, lots of great sex. Time is precious and the three or four years you are at uni will go in a nanosecond. Do you really want to be using that time to wait on a woman who may or may not want to go out for you?  If she does decide that you are the girl for her, I don’t see why she would be put off if you start dating other people. You can always break things off and go back to her. That may be unfair on anyone you might meet but you have to put your own feelings first. Who’s to say you won’t meet someone amazing and forget all about this girl? Doing nothing and hoping she might come back to you seems like a waste to me and a decision you will live to regret once you have left university and realised just want an exciting environment it was. You will never have a better chance to meet the woman of your dreams.”

Jessica is a sex and relationship expert for the dating site, 

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