I get anxious whenever my boyfriend does anything without me- any advice?

18 August 2020

Anonymous asks:

Whenever my boyfriend does anything without me I get major anxiety, is there any way I can stop this?

I'm scared if I talk to him about it he'll be worried he can't do anything without me due to me being worried.

Please help.

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationship expert, said: “The first thing you need to address is whether your anxiety pre-dates your relationship with your boyfriend. I suspect that it does and you are a natural worrier. What you also need to establish is whether this anxiety is just the normal feelings we all have when we are away from a loved one or a more deep-seated problem. I expect the latter option, which is why you are writing to me.

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“Anxiety is a really debilitating problem which is often linked to depression. If you really do feel you are suffering from anxiety rather than perfectly natural worries, then I would urge you to see you doctor. There are medications you can take to better control your anxiety. There are other ways to cope with anxiety - exercise has always worked for me. After a long run or a session at the gym what was worrying me beforehand seems so much less stressful. Try to rationalise your fears - by that I mean drill down into what it is that is concerning you. Are you worried that your boyfriend will leave you or cheat on you? If so, I suspect that those feelings of insecurity probably pre-date the relationship and result from you having been let down by a partner in the past. If your concerns are over his safety, try to look at them more realistically - there is a miniscule chance of him getting hurt going about his everyday life.

“I strongly urge you to talk to your boyfriend about your anxiety issues. When you are anxious he is not getting the very best version of you. He is getting someone wracked with fear who is too afraid to reveal her true feelings. He will be able to help and allay your fears. It is clear that you love him very much and I am sure he feels the same about you. He will want to help you and I am sure he will have some good ideas about how to cope with your fears. You will immediately feel less anxious after airing this issue with him and knowing you have his support. Together you can beat this and he can be free, when he wants, to do things apart from you without you both worrying.”

Jessica Leoni is a sex and relationship expert for the dating site, IllicitEncounters.com