Bethany asks:

Hi Lucy,

I have liked this guy for ages, he’s not really 'cute' but he’s smart and funny (my type) but he is the biggest geek. I like him a lot- what should I do?


Hi Bethany,

'I have liked this guy for ages'

'I have liked this guy for ages'

Let’s take a look at the definition of ‘geek’. It’s usually used to describe someone who is eccentric or non-mainstream and who wants to be with someone who’s like everyone else anyway? If every single guy was the same- life would be very boring, so embrace that he’s different rather than being afraid of it.

The word typically refers to someone who is an enthusiast or keen about a particular hobby which means he likely has some passion about something in his life. A passion that might extend to his relationships or a passion you might learn to share. Perhaps you already do.  

It might also mean that he is intellectual so you should never run out of interesting conversation.

The term suggests he might be unfashionable but it’s how he treats you- not what he wears that really matters.

And if he’s a little socially awkward around everyone else- who cares? As long as he’s himself when he’s around you- that’s what really counts.

You say he’s your ‘type’ because he’s ‘smart’ and ‘funny’ which is a great basis for a relationship- whether it's romantic or not. He may not be conventionally ‘cute’, but better to spend time with someone who you can laugh with and talk to about mutual interests than someone who looks good but whom you have nothing in common with.

While we are on the subject of ‘cute’- this is entirely in the eye of the beholder. He may not be ‘cute’ to other people but if you are drawn to him- there is nothing wrong with seeing him in a different light to everyone else.

You never know, once you spend more time with him- you might start to find him attractive in other ways.

If you ‘like him a lot’, it might be worth taking a chance to see if there is something more for you both here- even if it is just a friendship.

The term 'geek' is not a negative one- it’s just gathered momentum for being a bad thing. As you can see above, the traits of a so-called geek are actually very positive.

If the reason you are holding back is because of his reputation as a geek or you’re afraid of what other people will think- take them out of the equation. When it’s just you and him- forget about all that other stuff and focus on the fact that you like him. And you never know, he might just like you back. 

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