Answered by sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox

Do they work?

Do they work?


I have been asked to be the ''guest star'' in a friend's threesome. Can anyone offer some advice? Do threesomes work? Do they work with friends? Should I do it?

Tracey says: 

I’ll admit a bias upfront about this: I don’t think a threesome is ever going to be the best idea anyone’s had. Possibly the worst. Having said that, the people who tend to fare best out of them, are the singles rather than the couple. So if you’re single and the friend isn’t close or a friendship you value terribly much, being the ‘star’ of it can be quite ego-boosting (assuming all goes well and you’re emotionally equipped to deal with the usual fallout of Was that a bit slutty? What if my ex/mother/future husband finds out?)

The best advice I can give you is to talk it through thoroughly. Who’s doing what to who? What’s OK, what’s not? What if your friend freaks out when the reality of seeing her partner snogging the pants off you (literally) isn’t quite what she expected? Sleeping with friends is far riskier than doing it with strangers because someone always gets blamed if the experience wasn’t great. Since you’re the outsider and easier to load it onto, believe me it will be you who cops it. Even if it went well, it causes problems because she may be worried her partner enjoyed it a little too much. If you can handle losing the friendship, fine. If not, forget it.