Foreplay typically lasts for 10 minutes for most couples, followed by nine minutes of intercourse, according to a survey by online sex toy retailer Lovehoney. But how can you get the most out of those those nine minutes and still leave each other wanting more? And what giant don’ts  can will completely kill the moment? Lovehoney sex expert Sammi Cole gives the four dos and the four don’ts of foreplay. 

Do mix it up...

Do mix it up...


Do take it slowly -  start at the mouth and work your way down, kissing, licking, nibbling and sucking along the way. Take your time and gauge your partner’s reactions. When they’ve made it clear you've hit your stride, go with it.

Do mix it up - go down on your partner but take the opportunity to use more than just your tongue to get them off. Keep your hands busy while your mouth works its magic elsewhere. Play with her nipples, gently pull on his hair, or maybe even give them a little spank on the bum if the mood strikes. We all love surprises - so keep them guessing and watch them turn to putty in your hands (or mouth).

Do get talking - dirty, that is. Stroke their ego while you're stroking something else. Compliment your partner, and tell them all the sexy ways in which you plan on giving them pleasure. Just be sure to choose your words wisely and use language that you know they’re comfortable hearing -  the wrong sentiment could lead to coitus interruptus, and that's no fun for anyone.

Do heighten the pleasure by introducing a sex toy into the action. Bullet vibrators or wands both pack a punch and are great ways to stimulate the clitoris or the perineum (the male erogenous zone between the testicles and anus). For starters, why not try the Fifty Shades Freed Crazy You Bullet Vibrator, or enjoy powerful massages with the Lovehoney Deluxe Extra Powerful Wand Vibrator?


Don’t skip foreplay - even if you’re having a quickie. It’s a great way to establish intimacy and help to prepare both of you for the most pleasurable experience possible. It’s best to see foreplay as just as much a part of sex as penetration, rather than an add-on, because it’s just as fun, and just as important.

Don’t rush - foreplay is all about anticipation. It’s great fun to tease your partner until they are absolutely begging you for more, so take your time, and enjoy learning more about what ticks your partner’s boxes.

Don’t assume that you know what your partner desires, particularly if you have only just started dating. Ask your partner what they really want to take things to the next level. We're all wired differently, so do yourself a favour and find out what they are actually into, rather than assuming they’ll enjoy the same stuff your ex did. You never know, you could even learn a thing or two.

Don’t do the same thing every time - knowing what it takes to get your partner over the finish line is important, but just defaulting to the same technique every time will soon get boring. Sure, when you or your partner are ready, switch to Ol’ Faithful (whether it’s touching a certain place or moving your tongue in a certain way), but take your time to explore, play, and new things first - it’s so much more rewarding.