Today is National Nut Day so we thought we would celebrate by talking about the tricky subject of testicles.

They aren't pretty

They aren't pretty

Balls are always itchy- Normally when you scratch something, it alleviates the itch- but testicles seem to have a never-ending itch that men just can't leave alone.

They like to come out for air- As soon as you're home- the boys come out for some fresh air. You can literally see the impatience in your partner's face when you have company and they can't let them hang free.

They are ugly- Sorry fellas but there is no other word from them- like all genitals (including female ones)- they won't win any beauty contests but when it comes to the ugly scale- balls rank number one every time.

Like underarm hairs- When they aren't washed properly they take on a strange, musty smell. You know the one- like someone has weed in the attic. You don't want to go anywhere near them when they reach this stage.

Women don't think about balls- When you think of your dishy boyfriend, fiancé or husband- you don't think about his testicles do you? The banana is far more interesting that the plums. Just saying.

Men are constantly adjusting their balls- They never seem to sit right- if you notice men when they're walking, sitting down or having sex- the little blighters just get in the way and have to be attended to.

They are mesmerising- When there is a change of temperature they move about like a lava lamp and it's fascinating because our genitals don't have such magical powers.

Doggy style is tricky- They like to spank you whether you like it or not. 

They're better when they're trimmed- When you're using your mouth on your man- you don't want to combine it with flossing your teeth. These two activities should remain very separate.

They look better when they're covered up- Better to have a suggestion of a sack than it be right there starting at you.