How do you feel about keeping the lights burning bright during sex? Does the idea of turning ‘em on turn you right off? Would you rather get jiggy in the pitch black, so your jiggly bits can’t be seen? If you’re someone who prefers to be under the cover of darkness when they play beneath the covers with their lover, then you’re far from alone: a survey conducted by new prepayment energy supplier Boost [ https://www.boostpower.co.uk/keep-the-lights-on ] reveals that seven in ten Brits usually choose to turn out the lights when practicing pleasure with their partner.
Bristol, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Manchester and Plymouth were found to be the shyest cities, with around half of respondents stating that they always got dirty in the dark, whilst Birmingham bucked the trend, with 41% of Brummies opting to do the yum-yummies in the light. The residents of Leeds, Southampton, Newcastle and Liverpool are also brave enough to keep the bulbs blazing while they get busy – and there are many great reasons to follow their lead…
YOU CAN SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING – AND DO IT RIGHT
Lots of people require delicate, precise touches in quite specific hot spots in order to optimise their pleasure and likelihood of orgasm. If you’re fumbling and bumbling about clumsily in the dark, you’re less likely to get that correct, and sex may well be less satisfying for them as a result.
If you’re still learning about your partner’s preferences and predilections, leaving the lights on offers an ideal opportunity for some show and tell. Ask them to demonstrate how and where they love to be caressed, and if they’re bold enough, get them to vocalise exactly what they’re doing and how it feels – not only will this better help you understand and memorise their tastes, but it can also be thrilling to listen to.
LIGHTER SEX = SAFER SEX
If you’re using condoms to protect against STIs or unplanned pregnancy, you need to check there are no nicks in the rubber or air bubbles trapped in the teat, which can cause bursting.
And there’s less chance of accidentally elbowing your amore in the face while changing positions if you can see where all your limbs are! The Kama Sutra is better suited to brighter bedrooms.
Want to enjoy safer sex that offers a neat compromise between lights on & lights off? Grab yourself a ONE Glowing Pleasure condom from their Mixed Pleasures selection [https://www.superdrug.com/Health/Sexual-Health/Condoms/ONE-Mixed-pleasures-condoms-12-pack/p/732041?singleResultSearchPage=true ] - made using non-toxic phosphorous pigment encased between fine layers of latex, they’re the only glowing condom to be FDA approved. Keep the lights on during foreplay, then when you’re both ready for penetration, charge up the condom by holding it near a lamp for 30 seconds before rolling it on carefully. It will keep glowing for half an hour, so hit that switch, then challenge yourselves to see how much of the glow you can make disappear: the deeper you slide your luminous lightsaber, the darker the room will go…
KEEPING THOSE ELECTRIC BULBS BEAMING CAN LEAD TO A MORE ELECTRIC CONNECTION
Being able to gaze into your partner’s eyes can enhance the sense of connection you feel during sex, and deepen your bond. It can make the experience feel more personal, more loving, more emotional – you’re not just two random bodies thrusting blindly in the blackness, you’re two people joining together and sharing a special experience.
In fact, sex therapists often recommend spending five minutes just looking into each other’s eyes and breathing together as an exercise to help you feel calmer, fully focused, and more in touch with one another before you get physical.
SEEING EACH OTHER’S FACES HELPS YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE STROKING THE RIGHT PLACES
Being able to see facial expressions offers important sexual feedback. Is your partner smiling, gasping in delight, screwing up their features in ecstasy and concentration as they near climax? Or are they wincing, looking nervous, or uncomfortable? Do you need to try a different position, or take a pause? If you can’t see their face, it’s harder to read how they’re feeling and what they’re thinking about what’s happening.
IT’S GREAT FOR BODY POSITIVITY…
Turning on the lights while getting intimate might initially seem incredibly intimidating if you’re not hugely confident about your bod: in fact, 41% of survey respondents said they felt less self-conscious in the dark.
But while you may have some hang ups about taking your clothes off without the lights off, the chances are that your partner will deeply appreciate the show. They won’t focus on the so-called ‘flaws’ you perceive yourself to have; sadly, we rarely see ourselves as admiringly as others do.
What’s more, overcoming that feeling of vulnerability and inferiority by just going for it and getting nude ‘n’ lewd in full view together can end up bolstering your confidence and strengthening your relationship.
If you’re not quite ready to take the full plunge, you could try wearing a sexy lace or satin robe that drapes over you flatteringly, then unwrap yourself to reveal only as much as you wish to as your enlightened encounter progresses. You could also throw a fine silk scarf over a lamp to give a softer, more diffused effect that doesn’t seem so stark (although make sure it doesn’t get too hot – you want your night to be steamy, but you don’t want to end up calling the fire brigade!).
…AND THAT HOT VIEW WILL MAKE YOUR PARTNER SAY ‘PHEW!’
Men are often said to be very visual creatures when it comes to getting carnal. Yet it wets – ahem - whets the appetite of most women to feast their eyes on their partners’ bodies in the bedroom too.
Show what you’ve got, and watch their jaw drop. You could even try adding a mirror to the mix. [https://www.luvsense.london/ ]
COLOURED LIGHT CAN CREATE AN AMOROUS ATMOSPHERE
‘Chromotherapy’ is the art of using colour to create or enhance particular physical and emotional sensations – and using different hued bulbs is a brilliant way of bringing it into the boudoir. Red light is said to boost desire and energy, while a blue bulb can be calming, encouraging relaxation and sensuality.
LIGHT STOPS YOU FEELING SNOOZY ‘N’ WOOZY
For plenty of us, sex is the last thing on our To Do lists at the end of a long, exhausting day. Switch the light out, and you’re more likely to pass out, without having gotten round to being loving together – and if this happens repeatedly over time, it can lead to resentment, dissatisfaction or sexual stagnation. Keeping the lights on can give you that extra burst of energy you need to get the sauce started- and then you’ll sleep better afterwards!
So go on: make your sex life lit!
Written by sexpert Alix Fox.