Written by Alix Fox, Superdrug Sexpert and ONE Condoms Ambassador
Wednesday may be commonly referred to as ‘hump day’ – but the majority of British couples tend to save their humping for the weekend.
Research by Superdrug shows that Sunday at 9am is the most popular time that Brit lovebirds like to make love, whilst Tuesday at 9pm is the least popular for a spot of Hanky Panky. In fact, the top ten slots that folks get hot all fall on Friday nights, Saturdays or Sundays: during the week, it seems we all CBA with getting X-rated, and would rather roll over and catch some ZZZs. While weekends may be wild, Mon-Thurs, we’re keeping everything buttoned up and belted closed.
However, there are umpteen great reasons to make like Craig David [ ] and get wet ‘n’ wild on a Wednesday…or titillate on a Tuesday...or turn Monday into Moannnday…
If you only have sex at the weekends, it’s easy for your love life to weaken.
It’s no big shock that beds tend to rock most on Sunday mornings: after winding down on Saturdays, couples are more chilled out, and there’s often no rush to get up…so there’s plenty of time to get it up! Laying around leads to playing around, and laying in leads to a lay!
Snuggly, cuddly Sabbath a.m. sex can be delicious. Yet if that’s the only day you get dirty, things can soon get stale, and feel automated rather than amorous.
In addition, restricting sexual activity to one set day can end up feeling pressurised. People can feel obligated to get physical simply because it’s ‘Sex Sunday’ – even if they’re not truly in the mood, which can lead to half-hearted, limp-parted experiences with partners just going through the motions rather than being driven by genuine desire.
Plus, if one of you happens to go away on business, or spends a weekend with friends, or makes other plans with the kids, you can swiftly go a fortnight, three weeks, or even longer without making a place for passion, which can breed resentment, worry or stagnation.
Shaking up your rootin’ routine and inserting some intimacy into a different spot in your diary takes this pressure off, and can be an easy yet excellent way of keeping things fresh and keeping both of you connected.
A little ‘Weekday Wahey!’ can make work seem less wearisome
After a long, hard, nerve-shredding day of office spreadsheets, getting naughty beneath the bedsheets can seem like an exhausting prospect. But there’s no stress-buster quite like busting out an orgasm! And if work has you bored to tears, the escapism and excitement of sex can be a welcome break from the dull day-to-day – especially if you work in some role play, or get truly immersed in a sexual scenario.
Been in serious meetings all day and sick of the sound of your own voice? Agree with your partner that you’re going to get primal when you next get passionate: no words are allowed (other than an agreed safe word, which stops the action immediately if uttered by either person) Stick to expressive cries, sighs, groans and moans. Wrestling, running around and play fighting to see who will end up being dominant is all encouraged while you roar and get raw, going back to your caveman roots. If you can manage to truly let go, this can be a huge laugh - but also a massive turn on.
Quicker sex sessions don’t have to be stereotypical
Further Superdrug studies of 2,000 British people revealed that when folks do get frisky on weekdays, it’s often more hurried: whilst weekend whoopee lasts an average of 34 minutes and 39 seconds, mid-week muckiness is cut short by over 8 mins, clocking in at a typical 26 minutes and 18 seconds.
But even if you don’t have space for long, languid lovemaking, faster frolics don’t have to be straightforward, unimaginative up-in-and-over quickies.
Drew Harvey-Bigglestone and Ian Diamond are pals of mine - a gay couple for 15 years, they run adult store LukeAndJack.co.uk together, and recently told me how to ‘stage a shoot out’ when you’re shot for time in bed: “Re-enact your own wild west high noon gun fight! Each partner has one bullet (try the So Divine Rose Gold Halo bullet vibrator) that they have to use on each other for ten minutes (or about two or three songs on your sexiest playlist): no other touching, no fingers, and no cheating! This encourages you to to really concentrate your attention and focus on the other person's body, and wake each other up from top to toe, plus you might learn new things about their sexual sensitivity and responses along the way: don’t underestimate how much vibration from a bullet can swiftly send a guy to heaven via his nipples, shaft or perineum. See if you can shoot your lover down (and make them shoot!) by tracing along the nape of the neck, the ribs, the feet, the back of the knees... Yeehaa!”
This is an exciting, exploratory full-body warm up in minimal time, and because you’re not allowed any skin-to-skin contact, once ten mins are up you’ll be gagging to grab each other.
Knocking boots when you’re knackered can give things a whole new vibe:
Really too tired to toss ‘n’ tumble around? Try new ways to turn each other on that don’t involve movement at all. “I know through my work that even long-term couples never get around to sharing each other’s erotic fantasies, and as such many fantasies never get explored,” says award-winning sex worker and kink coach Seani Love. [www.seanilove.com] “A fun and safe way to share this is to lie down together (you can be back-to-back if it increases your confidence) and begin asking questions. A good one to start with is: "So I want to learn about your fantasy. Where does it take place?". Keep gently, non-judgmentally investigating until the imaginary scene gets really hot!” Take turns, and make plans to act on things another time if you want to – or vow to try and dream about it as you drift off.
Cameryn Moore runs Smut Slam: a dirty storytelling event that’s happening in more than a dozen cities across three continents this year (www.camerynmoore.com/smut-slam). “One low energy, high-impact idea is talking dirty, close up,” she says. “Into their ear is always a good place for those wicked whispers, but try doing it face to face, with your and your partner’s lips a couple inches apart. Go slow and breathe deeply; that shared air space will get hot in no time. See how long you can last before you just have to start kissing!”
You could try just saying one provocative word, over and over, seeing how many different ways you can produce it and which make your partner’s motors roar loudest.
No sweating, no thrusting – but so much heat.
Scheduling midweek sauce can help you leave the office on time
Forever working extra hours? Find yourself “just doing that one extra thing” even when your watch says it’s way past clocking-off time? Knowing your lover is ‘on a promise’, waiting to get busy with you is great motivation to quit your business bang on 5pm.
Need extra incentive? Book to go to an erotic educational workshop or talk and you’ll be doubly determined to get gone – then get do the do when you get home.