Written by We-Vibe’s, Relationship Expert, Dr Becky Spelman
The thought of approaching a partner and suggesting doing something new in the bedroom can be quite intimidating. What if they take offence, and think that you are saying that their love-making is not up to scratch? What if they think that you’re a bit odd and they don’t like the idea at all? On the other hand, a little anxiety is not a good reason to avoid discussing the issue! After all, this is your beloved; if you can’t talk about mixing things up a bit with him or her, then who?
As with so many things, how you approach this matter is what makes all the difference
For example, rather than saying, “I’ve been getting a bit bored with our vanilla love life,” you could start with, “It’s so much fun being in bed with you, and I was wondering if we could spice things up a bit by making it even better…” or, “Wouldn’t it be fun to try something new that might make sex even more fun for us both?”. It might be a good idea to start with an incremental approach. Rather than turning up out of the blue armed with bondage gear and a whip, introduce your fantasies gradually, and make sure that your approaches to your partner are always done with love and respect.
Body language and timing
When approaching such a sensitive subject try not to jump straight into it by telling your partner what he or she is doing wrong. It’s also important that the timing is right. Make sure that you’re both in a quiet environment and that it’s just the two of you. It has been said that the words we actually speak only account for 10% of the messages that we’re trying to convey, as body language plays a major role. In a situation like this, body language is very important as you need your partner to feel comfortable enough to talk about the sexual issues i.e. sitting close together and directing positive gestures towards the listener.
Try something new and fun!
Couples often worry that sex will get stale and boring when they have been in a relationship for a while, and the reality is that things can drift a bit, especially when we are distracted and preoccupied by concerns about work, the kids, or whatever. Trying something new and fun that like a sex toy can freshen things up. The new generation of sex toys are fun for both partners and can easily be integrated into sex play—with the emphasis on “play”. The We-Vibe Sync is designed to bring pleasure to both men and women and has been cleverly created to appeal to all sorts of personalities and body shapes. It’s designed to be actually worn during sex, with one part tucked into the woman’s vagina, where it stimulates the male partner, while the external part delivers vibrations directly to her clitoris. The We-Vibe Sync is a fun gadget to play with as it vibes along to the music playing in the room and you and your partner can even create your own vibes with the accompanying app.
Make sure your partner feels cared for always
For both sexes, feeling less than comfortable in the bedroom can lead to performance anxiety and, respectively, difficulty in sustaining an erection or achieving orgasm. Equality is important in any relationship, and it is most important when it comes to sex. Nobody likes to feel pressured into doing something they don’t want, while everyone needs to feel that they are cared for and are at the centre of their partner’s attention.