One of the great myths about sex is that it is fantastic every time you do it. We all have so-so sex, even with partners who are incredibly special to us. The way to make sure that your sexual happiness improves is to work on your technique. Here Lovehoney sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight provides 7 ways to beat boredom in the bedroom.

Annabelle Knight

Annabelle Knight

Your most important sex organ is your brain - sounds obvious but the best sex happens when you have a deep connection with your partner. Half of men (48%) and 39% of women reckon that love is the most important factor in achieving sexual happiness, according to research by Lovehoney.

Communication is key - so you have met that special person and are madly in love but sex is not that great. Well, tell them. It is vital you keep the channels of communication open to enjoy good sex. Don’t be afraid to say: ‘Honey, that really doesn’t work for me.’ Talk about what really DOES turn you and perhaps compile a wish list of 10 things you both want to do. Spend a month having a great sex ticking off all 10 activities.

Variety is the spice of life - eat the same meal every night and you will soon get bored of it. Why do you think that sex is any different? Too many couples get stuck in a sex rut where they do the same things, at the same time with the same results. Sex becomes routine rather than something special which you look forward to. Mix it up in whatever way works for you - pick a different room in the house to have sex each time. Drive to the countryside and find a secluded spot for your passion. Anything which keeps things fun and breaks the routine.

Don’t be greedy -  very few couples have consistently great sex. Most of us trudge on with a mixture of fantastically great sessions, ordinary shags and the odd funny incident. Even couples who rate their sex life as fantastic admit only 2-3 sessions out of every 10 are sheet-grabbing material. Push yourselves when things are good, but be kind and forgiving when things aren’t.

Use sex toys - the idea most women can orgasm through intercourse is the biggest and most damaging myth about sex. Most women don't orgasm through intercourse and only 30 per cent can do it. Like many other sex experts, I have been making this point for years. The result is men have at least three times as many orgasms with a partner than women do. The rates for casual sex are even more abysmal: only four per cent of women have orgasms through casual sex. Sex toys are a great way to stimulate the clitoris and improve women's chances of orgasming. They are not expensive - kick things off with clitoral vibrator. Great fun to use on your own - even more fun if your partner takes the lead.

Kissing is key - a lot of couples underestimate the importance of kissing. It is the perfect way to establish intimacy and is the most important act of foreplay. A good rule when it comes to sex is if they cannot kiss, it probably isn’t going to get much better when you get to the bedroom. If they have mastered one of the basics of sex, there is not much chance of them being any good at more complicated manoeuvres.

Lube makes sex so much better - for as long as humans have been getting down and dirty, we have known that we needed lubricant. There seems to be an incorrect assumption that younger women do not need to use lubrication, and if they do, they have a problem. Lube just makes sex more fun for both sexes. It can decrease painful friction, it can help offset some issues that affect your natural lubrication and it can introduce delightful new feelings during sex. Using lube frees up your mind to focus on the sex at hand.


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