Written by We-Vibe's Relationship Expert, Dr Becky Spleman
Relationships on Female First
With all the excitement and festivities surrounding England’s World Cup matches, it is possible that some of us could eventually become frustrated with our partners.
For those ladies who aren't enjoying losing their man to football for the coming weeks We-Vibe’s relationship expert and psychologist, Dr Becky Spelman has some advice.
You time
“Inside every problem is an opportunity!" says Dr. Becky. Use this chance to get together with some of your girlfriends! Who knows, they might be feeling left out too. All those things you have been thinking about doing with the girls - now is the time!
Indulge yourself
Go for a pampering session, or learn a new skill. "Take the opportunity for some quality me-time and do some of those things you may have been putting off."
Enjoy a little time apart
“Often in relationships, we feel that we need to have the same interests and passions," Dr. Becky says. But in reality, it is often a sign of a healthy partnership if both members can spend time on their own hobbies and interests. "That way, when they do spend time together, they bring more to the experience. This is more enriching for both parties."
If you notice the “green-eyed monster” popping up during World Cup festivities, try to remember that time apart can actually be for the best! "Use the time to pursue some interests of your own," advises Dr. Becky.
Be ‘mindful’
The World Cup is a long tournament. Your patience may be tested a few times throughout. "If you're struggling to stay cool and collected, be mindful of how the emotion bubbling up is affecting you," explains Dr. Becky.
Here is an easy way to do this in 3 steps:
Take notice of the situation - Pay attention to the specific emotions you are feeling. Acknowledge these sensations, try to understand why you are feeling them, and accept the experience.
Gather attention - Gather your attention and bring it to your breathing. Spend about a minute focusing on taking slow, deep breaths.
Expand awareness - Expand your awareness so that you are not only paying attention to your breath, but to your whole body and the space it takes up. Get a sense of the space around you.
"Practicing these steps can help you bring yourself back to balance, whenever you notice negative emotions getting the better of you," says Dr. Becky.
Be a bit selfish!
It may feel like it’s all about him at the moment. He is indulging in something that makes him happy. But remember, you have equal right to pursue something that you feel passionate about or are interested in. This could be the perfect time to take that trip or book that course. He’s enjoyed some solo pleasure; heed his example and do something just for you too!
Get Interested in Health and Fitness—for you both
If you have become concerned about your and your partner’s levels of fitness, it might be a good idea to use the World Cup as leverage in ramping up some enthusiasm about getting fitter. We don’t all have to be World Cup players, but we can all make small differences that will add up, like replacing TV snacks such as crisps and chocolate with grapes or carrot sticks and hummus and using half time as a good moment to do some jumping jacks!
Get out your Atlas
If you’re not a football fan, one of the best things about the World Cup is the fact that countries from all over the world take part. It’s actually a great opportunity to think a little about far-away places. Get out your atlas, look up Wikipedia, and read up on some of the participating countries. You never know—you might even make some holiday plans while you are at it!
tagged in Couples