Intimacy issues can cause serious problems in a marriage. When couples aren't connecting on a sexual level, they begin to lose the deep bond that once strengthened their relationship.
For women, it can be difficult to be vulnerable with a partner on a sexual level. As much as she may try to give herself to her spouse, intimacy issues creep in and start to invade the otherwise healthy relationship.
In order to get over the fear of intimacy, women must be able to pinpoint what is causing her discomfort. Whether you're holding back from connecting with your spouse on an emotional or physical level, here are 5 important steps to heal the fear of intimacy and get back to a healthy sex life.
1. Understand the importance of sex
One of the biggest sex tips for women is to understand the importance of sex with a partner. Sure, it feels great. But the true benefits of sex go so much deeper than that.
There are dozens of benefits of being intimate with your partner. For a start, the connection you make with your spouse during sex inflames a hormone called oxytocin. This hormone is responsible for the intense connection you feel to your spouse directly after sex. Oxytocin also depends trust between partners, lowers stress, and boosts emotional intimacy. Studies show that couples who have regular, satisfying sex are more likely to verbalise their love for one another than couples who don't.
Physical affection outside of sex is another important aspect of your intimate connection. Studies show that physical affection such as caressing, holding hands, kissing, or hugging is strongly related to overall relationship satisfaction.
Healthy, honest communication is one of the biggest sex tips for women there is. By talking to your spouse, you'll be able to share past experiences that may be preventing you from having a healthy, active sex life.
You can also talk about ways you like to be touched, words you like, things that turn you off, and other important details of what is pleasurable to you. Research indicates that sexual communication is positively associated with relationship quality and sexual satisfaction. By building up healthy communication with your spouse about your sex life, you'll be able to eliminate barriers and intimacy issues.
3. Stop questioning yourself
Are you feeling insecure about your sexual experience? Even if you've been with your partner for many years, it's not uncommon to feel insecure about how you measure up in bed, especially if your partner was more sexually active than you before you got together.
Remember that your partner loves you for you. They aren't getting you into bed in order to recreate an unrealistic adult film - they are enjoying you and your body. They are connecting with you on a deeper level.
When a woman doesn't regularly orgasm during sex, she may start to doubt her sexual prowess or feel embarrassed. We're here to tell you not to worry about it. The majority of women do not climax from intercourse alone, and many don't always orgasm during any form of sex. This is completely normal.
Studies show that women showed lower sexual satisfaction from their partners earlier in their relationship. So, what's the good news? The study goes on to reveal that sexual satisfaction skyrockets the longer a woman is with the same partner.
4. Deepen emotional intimacy
In a study of important qualities in marriage, the longer couples were together and the older they got, they were more likely to stress the importance of emotional intimacy over their sex lives.
Emotional intimacy is integral to getting over your intimacy issues and enjoying your connection to your spouse.
The closer you are with your spouse, the more comfortable you will feel discussing your intimacy issues. You will be able to ensure you are getting the kind of sex that you enjoy and won't feel embarrassed or shy about acting out your wildest fantasies.
You can deepen your emotional connection to your spouse by having a regular date night. This is a muti-beneficial evening for both partners.
For a start, it's a great way to go out and relax together after a long work week. It's also a great way to get away from the kids and have a night to connect as romantic partners, not just as parents. This National Marriage Project study highlights the importance of date night. It brings out that couples who had one or more date nights a month showed improved sexual chemistry, deepened communication, and were less likely to get divorced than couples who didn't.
5. Get to know yourself
One reason why you may be holding back in the sex department is that you're feeling unsure of yourself and who you are.
One of the most important sex tips for women is to care for her mental health as much as her physical health.
Journaling is a great way to get to know yourself on a deeper level. Research shows that those who journal regularly experienced reduced stress and boosted immune functions.
Take daily accounts of how your feeling. Use your writing as your personal therapy.
You can also turn your journal into a sex diary. This will help you keep accounts of good and bad sexual experiences. The longer you keep the journal, the easier it will be to point to positive sexual experiences and see what mental state you were in that day or what could have made it so enjoyable.
Another great way to get to know yourself is by having a sexy solo session. Your partner can watch, too! This way, you'll be able to explore your body and find out what turns you on.
The more you get to know your own body, the easier it will be for you to help your partner please you.
Getting over intimacy issues is no easy task. A physical connection is essential for building trust and emotional intimacy in a marriage. By opening up to your partner and trying these five tips for women, you'll be back between the sheets in no time.
Author Bio: Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organisations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.
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