We are all guilty of doing things to hurt our loved ones- often they are unintentional but they still happen. So here are a few things to keep in mind if you want to apologize for something to your partner.
Do it straight away- If you sit on it and hang on until the last minute to say it, you are only letting the conflict drag on. If you want to resolve something 'sorry' is a good place to start if you are in the wrong.
Don't say it when you don't mean it- If you are just saying it for the sake of it- it will show. Your partner can tell if you are not sincere in your apology, so be honest and say it when you are feeling it.
Ask questions- Aside from saying 'sorry', it's important to talk about exactly why your partner is angry with you. You may assume it's one aspect, when in fact it's about something completely different- something you overlooked. You need to establish how you can make them feel better about the situation by discovering the source of their irritation.
Take full responsibility- If you were the one who was out of line- accept the burden. Explain why you did the thing or said what you did and assure them that this is the last time this will ever come up in your relationship now you know the true extent of the effect it's had.
Discuss change- If you always feel you need to be the one to apologize and your partner is often the angry one, it's worthwhile exploring how you can alter these patterns of behavior. This will help you both to understand what triggers these episodes and how you both naturally react to them when it happens.
Inspired by an article on www.chatlaine.com
tagged in Partner