Natalie Portman had to learn super fast!
Dating a god is hard work; just ask Jane Foster, the feisty astrophysicist who stole Thor’s heart in the first Thor film (oh how we hate her!) Gods tend to be very busy, you know, saving the world and all that, plus they’re not all that good at just picking up the phone and checking in (sound familiar?)
So, on the off-chance that things between Jane and Thor don’t work out (it could happen), and he ends up with one of you lovely ladies instead, we’ve put together a guide by girls, for girls, on how to cope with the highs and lows of dating the immortal Avenger.
Firstly, his sibling rivalry with his adopted brother is on a whole other level, seriously. But be patient with him, after all – he’s the good brother. More to the point, he’s also willing to team up with this evil younger bro and commit treason in order to save your life, so that’s got to earn him some major boyfriend points.
Another slight problem: he’s a bit of a guy’s guy – their group even has a name and, let’s face it, is one step away from matching outfits. When these lads go on tour, it’s safe to say that chaos ensues; just ask the people of New York. But hey, you’ve got your girlfriends and he’s got his guy friends – and you don’t want to be that girl who bans her divine boyfriend from hanging out with his friends (especially because when those friends get together, it’s usually to save the world).
For this reason, work tends to come first. In fact it’s pretty safe to say that he’s a work-a-holic, constantly disappearing around the nine realms to keep the peace. He’d probably have his phone permanently glued to his ear if, you know, they had mobile phones in Asgard. Which brings us to another problem – HE NEVER CALLS! So if you’re the kind of girl who needs her boyfriend to check in regularly, or even just the kind who likes to know her man survived a major battle… you’re probably going to find dating a warrior-god pretty challenging.
Also, if you’re remotely the jealous type, he’s the kind of guy who has an unnervingly beautiful, female best friend from childhood. Of course, he says she’s just that –a FRIEND – but it’s pretty obvious to everyone except your oblivious beau that she wants more. Not to worry though, because she seems to be well and truly stuck in the friend zone.
On top of all of these potential problems, we should probably point out the shamefully obvious truth: his hair will nearly always look better than yours.
However, despite the above, there are definitely some pretty sweet perks to dating an Asgardian god. (FYI: there will be no ‘big hammer’ jokes in this feature – sorry to disappoint, but this is a serious article offering legitimate relationship advice for women hoping to date fictitious immortal men, so there’ll be no silly jokes here.)
Firstly, he’s not afraid to tell his parents about you – all of his friends and family seem to know about you, actually. That, ladies, is the mark of a true, mature gentleman. He’s also willing to defy his father (the king) and risk his life for yours. Swoon.
He’s supportive of your work and enjoys talking to you about it – and he’s certainly not about to let some “crisis of masculinity” get in the way of you following your passion. Although, let’s be honest, when you’re the God of Thunder there’s not much your other half could do career-wise that would threaten your masculinity. But still, it’s nice he cares.
Did we mention he’s a gentleman? Chivalry, it would appear, is not dead in Asgard. He’s polite, courteous and charming, even to your slightly nutty co-workers, which is always a plus.
Lastly, while we did not stoop to the level of big-hammer jokes, we do feel we should point out one of the major advantages of dating a warrior-god: he looks like this…
…which means that all your friends look like this, making all the stress we mentioned before totally worth it.
For more ideas of what it’s like to date a god, catch Thor: The Dark World in cinemas now!