...and you hate them...
Today is National Mincemeat Day so we celebrate all the mince pie lovers out there and their partners too!
Your partner has one brand they like- And won't settle for anything else- no supermarket own, no homemade efforts- it has to be the one they always get or Christmas is RUINED.
They eat them like sweets- You do worry they might turn into one when the Christmas period is over because they pop them like candy.
They have a special festive plate for them- And pile them high ready for consumption.
They always buy them long before Christmas- Supermarkets prey on the weak mincemeat addicts- they release the pies early so that people like your partner will start early.
They will eat them in any which way- Plain, with ice cream, custard or whipped cream. They're not fussy, as long as the pie is at the centre of all that creamy, fattiness- they are happy.
They never get fed up of them- Even though they've eaten their weight in mince pies by the time Santa arrives- they still want more. It's a form of Christmas crack they can't kick the desire for in the New Year when the little blighters are reduced.
They love the fact that you don't like them- Because- well- more for them.
If you suggest leaving one out for Santa- You will be cast out into the snow and have all your presents taken off you. Santa can literally have ANY other snack- not your lover's mince pies.
You worry that you will have to send them to MPA (Mince Pies Anonymous) in the New Year- To wean them back onto savouries.
Their breath has a distinct aroma at this time of year- One of spices and dried fruit. You know exactly how Mrs Claus must feel when she has to give her husband a welcome home kiss on Boxing Day.