Toxic friends

Enjoy the simple things

Enjoy the simple things

Those who dump all their baggage at your door and don't bother to take a look through yours with you to unpack a little- get rid. Your friendship will always be one sided with both of you coming out worst.

Rushing/ being late

Life happens and sometimes it makes us late-put it behind you and move on. Getting up at a decent time and enjoying the day together makes you feel more fulfilled than lying in and not having enough time to do anything worthwhile.

Unhealthy addictions

Sitting in and drinking every Friday night might be a fun, but it will take its toll on your health, your weight, your memory and your bank balance. You will feel sluggish the next day and probably waste it eating bad food and taking headache relief. Avoid that bad start to your two days off together and you will get far more out of the weekend.

FYI you don't need coffee to keep you go at weekends- no one will judge you if you embrace the afternoon slump with a little nap.

Media

Happy couples don't keep their heads down. When they are together they are present and in the moment. No phones before bed, no I pads after dinner. They are careful about the amount of time they watch TV and play games.

Hide emotions

Bottling up emotions is not good for anyone and if the emotion is relationship related, it only breeds resentfulness and anger. Those couples who are happiest are able to tell each other the truth when they have a disagreement with their partner. The either agree to disagree or find a way to compromise- then it's out of the way and won't come up at an unrelated occasion.

Stay in all the time

Couples who get out and see the great outdoors are likely to be happier, they are generating endorphins, having new experiences and making new memories. Those who stay indoors feel the bite of habit, repetition and predictability.

Self-Entitlement

Those couples who feel that they are due a promotion, more money, a bigger house- anything materialistic have it seriously wrong. You are not entitled to anything in life; it all must be earned and cherished. If you adopt this attitude you will start to see the positives over the negatives and get pleasure from the small things. For couples, this can be taking a walk in the countryside rather than going to the cinema, or lying in the garden at night and looking at the stars rather than watching TV. Both examples encourage couples to talk and see what simple pleasures there are in the world without the need of manmade appliances.

High expectations

If you are unrealistic as a couple, you will only end up being disappointed. Be sensible in your aspirations together- if you live within your means and your capabilities then you will succeed.

Working a job you hate

Couples who appear to love life are the ones who have pursued what they wanted to rather than what just pays the bills. They have supported each other to reach their gaols and enjoy the work-life balance it gives them to be able to have quality time together. Being unhappy at work filters down to your relationship if you are overly anxious in your spare time about going back there.

Complain all the time

It's natural to moan when something goes wrong- but seeing the bad in everyone and every situation wears your partner down and vice versa. People are not all bad and situations that seem terrible at the time shape you into a better person by making you stronger, more tolerant or more grateful. Learn from people you don't like and take what you can from a bad experience for the betterment of yourself.

Clutter

An untidy environment makes for an untidy mind. If you can't concentrate because you are fixated on the amount of 'noise' going on around you in the form of mess you can never going to be able to relax and unwind with each other. Your area should not be a constant source of chores but somewhere to de-stress and look forward to being in tougher.

Putting others down

People grow at different rates- everyone has a journey to take and it might not match yours. But so what? All couples have things they are proud of and things they could have done better. Identifying what you think is someone else's fault is not going to make you feel any better about something you regret doing as a pair.

Hold grudges

With each other or anyone else. What's the point? It makes you channel all of your joint focus into someone or something and where does it get you? Nowhere, forgive and forget- everyone has errors of judgement. The healthiest of couples are those who put yesterday behind them and embrace today with a clean slate.

Worrying about the future

How can you possibly know how the future is going to pan out or how you will react to things as a pair? Worrying is unnecessary because it's not going to change the outcome. So take each day as it comes and if you hit a bump- invest your energy into getting over it.

Taking life seriously

You are an adult so you must suddenly become serious. No. You can still laugh, be silly and act beneath your age because life is too short to forgo enjoying yourself because of a number. Work hard- play hard.

Make room for happiness

You can and should be happy, but you have to let that happiness in. It's not an aspiration, it's ever present in your life, but you need to spot it and open yourself up to it rather than blocking it out. Every couple should be happy for each other and most importantly themselves.

Inspired by www.pickthebrain.com


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
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