Everyone dreams of a perfect relationship. Most of us spend our life in hope of finding our perfect partner who will love us and fulfil all our heart’s desires. It seems that only some of us are ‘lucky’ enough to meet our perfect partners whilst the rest of us end up in conflict, misunderstanding and heart-break.
Have you ever felt that? Or perhaps you have that friend who’s always commenting on how lucky others are in love…
As a researcher of human relationship, I have always been fascinated with people’s reactions to events and the thinking behind the behaviour. I have come to observe over thousands of behaviours, intrigued as to what it is that makes people react comparatively different to the exact same event or challenge.
The truth is that, it is not our external situations that cause us to react in the ways that we do, but rather these reactions are based on a hidden rule book that serves as a reference point to give a meaning to that event. Each time an event takes place, we automatically refer to this rule book to determine whether we should be happy or upset.
For example, if your partner forgets to call you to say they will be late from work, your reaction to that event will be determined by the meaning you have associated to that act. If your hidden rule book says ‘(s)he forgot to call because I’m not important to them’, will be an upsetting thought causing your energy to drop. On the other hand, if in your hidden rule book it says, ‘(s)he forgot to call as they’re usually quite busy with work’, you will naturally start to feel compassion for your partner and might wonder if they have eaten or not.
So, what is this hidden rule book and where does it come from?
The hidden rule book is mostly written by our parents, religion, culture and society and has very little to do with our own first hand personal experience of life. It dictates how we live, how much money we will earn and the type of partner we will pick. The book contains information about relationships which are based on what society believes about them.
These mass beliefs are in fact myths!
Believing in them is the number one reason why people are lonely or go through massive relationship issues. It is only when we erase these myths from our hidden rule book that we can manifest our perfect partner.
In my experience of working with people for over a decade, I have shared two of the biggest myths that have been the blocks in relationships:
Your partner should complete you
Making him/her the centre of your world and relying solely on your “other half” to make you happy, is a lot of pressure to put on them. Whereas knowing that you are happy in spite of him/her.
True Love is finding ‘the one’
Once I find the one all my relationship issues will resolve themselves! Rig
Most people believe in these beliefs without being consciously aware of them!
The good news is that TODAY you can become aware if these or any other hidden beliefs are influencing your relationships by reviewing what love means. Any statement you accept as truth becomes a belief and by creating a new belief such as, “I find true love in every relationship” you are taking steps to upgrade these beliefs that will leave you open to creating a long lasting, healthy and loving relationship.
For more articles by Sidra visit www.SidraJafri.com
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