When you move in together, get engaged or married, you want to be sure that if, God forbid, something happened to one of you- that the other will be financially secure. But doing so prompts some weird and wonderful questions to make the exercise a little more palatable. Here are just a few to celebrate National Life Insurance Day

Would you come back and haunt me?

Would you come back and haunt me?

Would you find someone else if you died? You have more interest in this than anything else. If you were to pass away- you want to be safe in the knowledge that your partner will become a recluse and look at pictures of you all day long while sniffing your pillow. Similarly, you vow never to look at another person again if the worst happened and tell them you’ll get a dog instead.

Would you haunt me? It would be fun to freak out your lover from the other side but when you consider what it would be like to see the lights flicker, things moving around and have someone watching your every move- it becomes more creepy than romantic.

What would you do with all my stuff? All people in relationships resent something that their partner owns- whether it’s their childhood toys that take up all of your loft space or a large collection of something that monopolises the entire house- you have to be honest and tell your lover what you would ditch if it was up to you. But most importantly what they would keep of yours- if anything.

What would you do with all the money? If you were to die suddenly- you want to know what your partner would do with the cash created from your demise. Would they take a holiday you never could afford or blow it all in a casino? Ultimately, no amount of money would make up for the loss of your significant other… but it’s nice to fantasize about paying off the mortgage.  

Who would get the fictitious kids? You talk about if you did have offspring and you both popped your clogs at the same time who the kids would go to. Then you come to the horrible realisation that you can’t agree on who you would trust with such a burden and swear that one of you will try to stick around.

Who’s the healthiest? You have to declare your lifestyle, your weight, your bad habits and from this you can both determine who is the unhealthiest and therefore who is likely to go first. Usually the one who’s policy is more expensive. The cheapest one of you uses this opportunity to gloat but it comes as a little reminder to eat less and move more- and by move more- you interpret this as ‘have more sex’.  

Would you still speak to my family if I died? You know that they don’t always see eye to eye and wonder if your partner would use it as an excuse not to have to put up with the in-laws. Would they move away and only send a Christmas card or would they still go over for the odd Sunday lunch? You can’t help but feel aggrieved that they would potentially still uphold a routine if you were no longer around. How dare they?!

Should we get a will? You suddenly realise that life insurance is only part of the deal and you need to put in writing what goes to whom- and who would deal with your stuff. But you don’t think about the serious stuff- more so who you can trust to bin all the stuff in your sex drawer before your parents get there and delete the sexts and naughty pics of each other from your phone. Now that’s a thinker. 

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