Yale found the most popular house rules- we take a look at the ones that apply to relationships.
No shoes on the sofa- Take them off before you snuggle- make it look like you live here and not just calling round for sex.
Always flush the toilet- FYI your partner doesn't want to sleep with you after seeing your poo.
Put clothes in the wash basket- Women want to feel like your lover not your mother.
Turn out the lights/ TV when you're not using a room- If you have to spend more on electricity next month then you can't justify our boxset marathon- think about it.
Empty the bath when you're done-Your trimmed pubes look like you have adopted a bathroom dwelling animal.
No swearing- Sadly that means sweary affectionate names you might call each other too.
Toilet seat down- Midnight ass baths are not something women get excited about.
No balls in the house- Except the pre-approved ones in your partner's pants.
Put your shoes away when you take them off- Or guests start to think there are many gentleman callers at the house and that kind of rep should be avoided.
Always lock the door when you leave- But let's face it- any robber would take one look at the pig sty you live in and think- 'we're too late.'
No slamming doors- Except in arguments-when they provide much of the pi**ed off ambiance you're looking to create.
Don't eat messy food on the sofa-During sofa sex- crumbs up the butt are a bit of a buzz kill.
Last one to go to bed must check the door is locked/windows shut etc.- If you don't you clearly don't care about the safety of your partner at all. Dramatic? No!
No looking at phones at the dinner table- The only person who texts you is your partner anyway- don't pretend you're popular.
No food upstairs- Upstairs is for sleeping, toilet time and sex- anything edible is not classed as food.
No shouting- Unless it's during- then be as loud as you like.
No pets upstairs- Well one pet's allowed. Think about it…
No food in living room- Even though it's always fun when he goes hunting for that stray piece of popcorn down your bra.
Don't go to bed on an argument/angry with each other- Resolve it with make-up sex. Simple.
No snacking and ruining your dinner- Unless it's neck nibbling- that's always ok.
If you cook, your partner cleans- Tit for tat.
Certain windows shut at all times- Like the bedroom ones or the neighbours might hear…
Not allowed to sit in his chair- Straddling is fine- but sitting - no.
No talking with your mouth full- Would you chatter away while going down on each other? No? Then apply the same logic.