Addicted to drama - Let it go!

16 September 2015

This is one of those questions where people come to see me and ask "Why do I always attract bad things into my life, and why is my life always draining, dramatic and negative, why?" So I ask them, "Do you find it hard to feel happy, do you find it more interesting to have something exciting in your life, so you appear more interesting and more in control?"

Does having no drama sound boring?

Does having no drama in your life, sound boring?

I see more people being involved in drama, if they feel a little lost in life, sometimes they aren't getting enough attention, they are merely bored, they are feeling lonely and need a fix of some kind. It can be equivalent to drug taking, as one lady put it, but also it can be very draining for others around them too.

Sometimes creating drama constantly in your life from health issues, to relationship problems to money issues are all deep seated problems from areas surrounding emotions which havent been dealt with in the past. Most are linked with how you feel about yourself too.

I have noticed the following signs below, are indications around someone always wanting drama in their lives without realising this:

A love of gossip, mostly other people ' s lives.
Always something going on in your life which is, in your eyes, horrific, which then equates to a crisis and spirals out of control.
Always watching the news, the latest gossip, magazines, stories about celebs and wanting to discuss more of it to others. (One lady liked the fact her life was like a celebrity, she read about!).
Over reacting to everything, versus rational behaviour.
Everything is a huge deal, when really if dealt with differently, you would find that it is not a big deal after all.
You love to stir things up, in order to receive different reactions from people.

I find people who like drama and create misery and difficultly in their lives, crave, what I would call, attention. However not always easy to understand on a deeper level without seeing someone about it in person. It is more related to attention than anything thing else and how they are feeling about themselves too at that one time. They may be confused about something or upset about someone and at that one moment feel understood and loved. "Give me attention they shout inside!".

Over the years, it is at times difficult to disassociate from people who bring constant drama into you life, but there will be times, where you will want to be completely away from it. Why? Because you will want to always surround yourself with people who understand that living in drama impacts all areas of our lives negatively.

It is much easier to stay out of drama when you surround yourself with people who don't live in drama, they don't create it nor do they want to understand it. They don't gossip, they aren't always in the middle of a challenge or crisis, they aren't glued to the evening news, they find zero significance in other people's upsets and don't blow everything out of proportion. They recognise that life's bumps are just that, a momentary hiccup in life and then get on with things as best they can. They breeze through life and their circumstances too. They lead a peaceful, drama free life. They use their intuition and knowledge to see that life with drama is a life of unhappiness and challenges. The hardest part in letting go and releasing from the addiction to drama is that like any addiction (which it is) is most people actually get some form of pleasure from these very things which are not good for them. You know too much of something isn't good for you, so you carry on repeating those mistakes when really you know it is toxic.

The reality is that in life, drama will always be around us no matter how many times you say to yourself "I don't want it!". You can't get away from it, but you can choose not to let it consume you or control you. You can control how you deal with something, because sometimes an unmet expectation is exactly what you needed to happen. In other words, to change your course for the better for yourself personally. Sometimes just as you are projecting out something you don't want, normally you always create it.

I have a good friend, who is one of the happiest people I have ever met in my entire life. She lives totally drama free, only because she chooses to live by what she feels is a drama free life. When I asked her, how she stays out of this so called drama, she explained, she sees life as a series of movies. If we can see each moment as nothing more than a movie, before you know it, the next movie, will be up on the screen in front of you and that moment of drama will be in the past. (How very true indeed). I love that analogy, because it is a simple way to see every moment, negative of positive, for what they are. A moment in time, that will soon pass before our eyes and stays in the past for good and not continue in the future, unless we keep on creating drama.

When we are naturally emotional in our lives, we attract more drama, so in order to stay drama free, release the emotion and move to something else. If we fear being taken for granted or have a fear about something, talk it over rather than creating something out of nothing, as it could well be nothing and release your fears for good instead of hurting the other person directly. The other person must crave drama too if they invite this behaviour around them to always happen, more so in relationships. A drama seeking person will naturally seek out (subconsciously) a similar drama seeking individual to receive that high they are craving.

So, here's your homework for today. I dare you to give up on any kind of drama for the next month. Try and stop making everything look worse than it really is. See things as they really are, do not fear anything, do not let your insecurities rise. Try to create a better story around the events that happened in your life. Only see the positives. Unless there is evidence around it for you to move away from it, do so, but do it in a way that it is done without emotion and drama, just let it go away from you. When you let go of allowing your circumstances to dictate your outcome, you will be in control of your future. It can feel like you are taking yourself away from addiction at the same time.

When you have an intention and it doesn't work to your plan, instead of sitting around, getting upset and angry, lashing out at someone or yourself. Recognise that feeling bad about it, won't change the outcome or solve the problem.

So instead of getting caught up in the drama, create a new plan and take action. How we choose to respond to the situation and the drama that is everywhere, will dictate the response and outcome. (remember, how you react will get your outcome). So the next time you are met with a situation you do not like, stop, take a deep breath and remind yourself that everything has a way of working out the way you may not have had control over and could be for the better too.

Try it, see how you get on.