When I moved from the North East to the North West I found a lot of my friends from other parts of the country had 'nee' idea what I was talking about half the time. In fact- my husband and his family still struggle.

Sarah Millican

Sarah Millican

So if you're thinking of dating a Geordie lass, make sure learn the following basic words and phrases because you might need them when you first start gannin' out.


In a sentence: I'm clammin' for some tea

Translation: I'm hungry for my evening meal

'Spelk' (for the outdoorsy dates)

In a sentence: I've got a massive spelk in my arse

Translation: I've got a large splinter in my bottom


In a sentence: Fancy a lookout?

Translation: Would you like to go out somewhere with me? 


In a sentence: I would love to have bairns when I'm older, I just hope they don't workyticket

Translation: I would like to have children in the future, as long as they don't misbehave 


In a sentence: Talk to me hacky 

Translation: Talk to me dirty 


In a sentence: You're a canny laddie 

Translation: You're a good guy 


In a sentence: You're so bonny

Translation: You're very beautiful

'Bait Box'

In a sentence: What do you want in your bait box today?

Translation: What do you fancy in your lunch box today?


In a sentence: Where are the hinny toilets?

Translation: Where are the ladies toilets?


In a sentence: Haddaway and sh*te

Translation: That's not true- it's rubbish


In a sentence: Howay man

Translation: Come on

'Whey Aye'

In a sentence: Why aye am gannin later

Translation: Yes I'm coming out tonight

Other useful tips:

She's probably nothing like the girls from Geordie Shore- So don't assume anything because you've watched an episode or two.

She has an awesome sense of humour- If you find Sarah Millican funny- you're going to get on very well indeed.

She'll probably begin most sentences with 'eeeeeeeeee'- If you hear it- you know it's time to give her your undivided attention.

She might ask for pease pudding on her sandwiches- It looks like mustard but made from beans- goes great with ham.

She'll talk to anyone- She treats everyone equally and will strike up a conversation with total strangers on public transport, while waiting for public transport and in the shops. Be prepared to join in but if you're too shy- she can hold her own.

'Shy bairns get nowt'- She may use this expression quite a lot- it basically means that if you don't ask you don't get. If you get lost- don't struggle with a map- just ask someone for directions. If you want a biscuit and no one's offered you one- ask. The worst someone can say is 'no'.

Don't make fun of her place of birth- All towns and cities have both good and bad- but where she came from has made her the person she is today. It's all part of her charm so don't take it for granted.

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