Dating in general is hard, especially in this generation as it is posted all over social media. Dating at university can be even harder as it can be difficult to pick the right person and get the balance right between work and relationships. I found dating hard in my first year as my university was very small so most of the people I liked were in my friendship group which was a no go. However here are some dating tips I have learnt in my first year of university.
Don’t expect to be wined and dined
Everyone has high hopes for a first date as you want to be taken to a fancy restaurant. However you have to be realistic, everyone is skint. That doesn’t matter, though, as you can have a fun time on a budget and there are so many places to go and eat at a very low price. It’s the thought that counts - even if they decide to save money and cook you a romantic meal at the accommodation, it is a very good way of spending time together at half the price.
Not everyone wants a relationship
As much as it would be nice for everyone to want a relationship, at university it isn’t like that. People have come from so many different backgrounds, most people want to have the chance to be single at university for the most part. Don’t get caught up in people who say ‘it’s complicated’ as I know from experience it never ends well as they never choose you. Try not to rush things, take each day as it comes when stepping into what could be a new relationship...they aren’t going anywhere.
Don’t date people in your friendship group
This is a big rule. If you decide you want someone who is in your friendship group it could be a bad decision. Again, I know from experience- it comes with a lot of baggage as the drama caused is not fun. You have people taking your side and the other person's side which in turn divides the friendship group. If you can, try and avoid this like the plague as these relationships don’t usually end well.
Don’t date your flatmate
This is similar to number five, however it is still an important rule. It can be easy to fall into the trap of liking someone you live with as you see them everyday - but it can come with its consequences. If things get serious or you fall out, this could have a knock on effect to the rest of your flat. You don’t want a lot of tension in the flat as it may become harder and more awkward to live with them.
Tinder has good and bad points. However at university it can be a good way to meet more people on campus and a relationship may be able to form over it. As it picks up people in your area, it will be easier to meet up with them. It can also be a way to speak to people you already know if you don’t know how to approach them in person.
Talk to people
Get to know people in your classes, through your friends and on nights out. Try to ask them if they want to go out sometime, it’s always better to ask than to wonder ‘what if’. Nights out are a great place to talk to new people and make new friendships. As people are more inclined to talk to new people on a night out, it’s always good to approach people and have a chat or a drink with them. It could be the start of something new.
Don’t get caught in the talking stage
This is a very common occurrence in university life. The dreaded talking stage. This is the stage in a relationship when you’re not official but you’re not single either. This stage can last for months and months, the only way to get out of the rut is to tell them how you feel. One of my flatmates in first year had this problem and she eventually started to move forward in this relationship when she told him how she felt. Now they are in a relationship. If they are really worth your time they will at least take your feelings into account and be respectful of you, if a relationship is not what they want.
By Fionnuala McNulty @FionnualaMcNult