As you begin dating someone new or embark on a relationship, it’s easy to convince yourself that you’ve met Mr Right. Our inner romantic takes over and we begin dreaming of what’s to come; the prospect of a blissfully perfect life filling us with excitement for the future.
Although, we often get a little carried away and with rose-tinted glasses, might miss warning signs that our Mr Right is secretly Mr Wrong… from inconsistent texting to the infamous “I just don’t like labels” speech, it’s important to know what to look out for – you deserve nothing short of your perfect match and shouldn’t settle for any less.
Ben Edwards, a self-confidence expert and relationship coach, offers an insight into what you need to look out for when deciding if your Mr Right is actually Mr Wrong. We’ve all been there; head over heels for someone, emotions flying everywhere, we think we’ve hit the jackpot and then suddenly, there’s a hiccup. Learning to recognise a keeper when you find one will be key to saving yourself heart ache!
Why so blunt?
When it comes to modern dating, texting has become the most popular form of initial communication… good-bye love letters! Inevitably, we hope that these texts, especially in the early stages of dating, will be filled with excitement as we learn about one another and enjoy the butterflies that accompany any romance.
However, these sweet exchanges can often seem amiss if the person you’re texting appears disengaged or sporadic. Of course, some are simply better at texting than others and busy schedules can make regular messaging difficult, but if you feel there is no genuine or valid reason for consistently delayed or blunt responses, it may be time to take a step back and reassess. It’s important to be on the same page and if you value the effort put into messaging, then you deserve to find someone with similar priorities. Don’t underestimate your concerns; while ending a commitment based on the contents of texts might sound trivial, it’s not. Don’t be afraid to be honest about your feelings and admit if something isn’t making you happy.
He’s not turning your frown upside down
When we’re dating, we do so with the hope of finding a long-term partner. As a result, we strive to meet someone willing to support us, fill us with happiness and pick us back up when we’re feeling down.
If the person you’re dating isn’t making you feel supported when times are tough or simply if you’ve had a bad day, then this may be an indication that they’re not your perfect match. Often, we blame ourselves and believe we’re a burden or too negative if a partner seems less than attentive. However, we should find comfort in the person we’re seeing and expressing our emotions should not be a sign of weakness nor something we feel incapable of doing within a relationship.
It feels like hard work
All relationships require work to survive life’s hurdles and good communication is key. However, arguments and make-ups do not automatically accompany growth, especially if this cycle becomes a regular occurrence. In this instance, it may be worth revaluating; it’s not healthy to remain in a relationship that is causing more pain than pleasure and if it is filled with more lows than highs, discuss the problem with your partner. If you find that this concern is not being addressed or cannot be improved, this may be a sign that your Mr Right is actually Mr Wrong.
It’s all one-sided
It can be disheartening if you’re constantly the one to organise your dates, send the texts and make the calls. Although everyone will behave differently in a relationship and have different expectations, it’s important to feel that both parties are committed to making the relationship work. This kind of issue can usually be resolved with a simple conversation; people can and will adapt if they like you and want to make you happy. However, if this is an ongoing issue and you find little success in adapting to each other’s way of communicating, he may not be the man for you!
He’s not introduced you to his parents or friends
For anyone, introducing or being introduced to a partner’s friends or family is a big deal and this usually only happens if they’re serious about the relationship. If you’ve been dating for several months and there’s been no mention of meeting those closest to him, this might be a sign his heart’s not in it. However, don’t rush to conclusions; tell your partner how you feel and if he is unwilling to budge, this may be a sign the relationship has run its course.
Deciding to end any relationship is difficult but if the commitment is no longer making you happy this change will be of massive benefit to both yourself and your partner in the long-term. Your perfect match is worth waiting for and won’t ask you to sacrifice your own self-worth; take your time, be confident and enjoy the journey.
For help and support going through a break-up or with any relationship difficulties, visit www.facebook.com/officialbenedwards